So, it's Sunday and because it's back to school tomorrow following the end of the October half term holiday, it means there'll be lots of organising to do.
- Three book bags to find and ensure that they contain the correct reading books, homework and letters to hand back in.
- Three sets of PE kits to gather together.
- Three uniforms to sort out.
- But saddest of all, three beautiful, precious, gifts from God that I will have to make do their homework, make them wake up and make them get to school on time.
It's not something I look forward to at all which is weird because I loved school. I loved and still love learning. But, I know that school is not the best place for any of my girls. The eldest gets bored because (in my opinion) she's not being challenged or stretched enough in English which she excels at and in Maths which she hates, she's struggling to keep up because she's not getting the help she needs to understand concepts which don't make sense to her.
The middle daughter is amazing and very motivated but feels devastated when she realises that it's a school day and that she's not going to be with me.
The youngest has only been in full time school for one half term so far, so it's still early days but I don't feel like she's learning anything yet. I was also a bit irritated that she brought home another child's work. The other child also has Down Syndrome but is 2 years above her in school so what the heck?
They've not really engaged with the Down Syndrome Support Service to help ensure that they're meeting her needs despite getting additional Govt funding for her. I also feel (in my opinion) that they don't have high expectations of her and what she can achieve because you know, she's a learner with additional needs.
Maybe I'm being too hard but if I'm praying hard for the honour and privilege of having children then I also have high expectations that they will soar in life and have beautiful days enjoying the life they've been blessed with.
I watched an interesting programme this past week rather irritatingly called Feral Families and it showed a brief spotlight into 3 families who had made the choice to homeschool.
It's not something I would really consider due to the financial considerations and because I love my job but it's made me think about it.
I mean, why do we send our children to school? I want each of my daughters to absolutely excel and achieve their best but why? What does it really matter so long as they fulfill their purpose in life and are safe, happy, and provided for / able to provide for themselves? Is this country's education system even fit for purpose? If my daughters want to be professionals e.g. doctors or teachers could they still achieve that without going to school? Could they do far better?
So many children, bursting with potential, are being ground down by a one size fits all system and all children are absolutely uniquely made.
I'm definitely NOT having a downer on teachers. I love great teachers but it's just that they are facing such massive challenges when teaching 30 individuals. How can they possibly personalise learning for each child and ensure that each one really 'gets it' and knows how to extend and deepen their learning?
Lots of things to ponder.
But whatever the answers to my questions I still have to try and make the best of the next 6 weeks of routine until we get to the Christmas holidays.
MrsGulp
Sunday, 29 October 2017
Saturday, 9 September 2017
Rebecca - the first 5 years
So it's here - Rebecca's 5th birthday.
Five years ago today, on a Sunday afternoon, due to a combination of circumstances, I was in a delivery room with 2 midwives when Rebecca gently slipped into the world.
She didn't cry and she seemed rather floppy but she was alive!
The midwives told me that they'd need to get a paediatrician to just check her over and that was it. I was in the High Dependency unit because during this pregnancy I'd had gestational diabetes so I assumed it was due to this.
A few moments later my beautiful mother arrived and she was thrilled to meet her new baby granddaughter.
The midwives dressed Rebecca in the outfit I'd brought for her and passed her to me to feed but she was so floppy she wouldn't feed. They'd also given her a little hat as she wasn't keeping her temperature. The midwives then changed shift and my Mum had to go home so I was left alone with Rebecca. It was a beautiful moment of peace as I gazed at her and thanked God for her life.
Then a rather officious midwife came in and took Rebecca from me and put her in a plastic cot. The kind they used to have at the hospital.
I should mention as well that at this stage Rebecca was actually nameless as it was James turn to name our child but he was away so we just gave her an interim nickname until he knew what to call her.
The midwife took myself and Rebecca up to the ward and I was thinking oh finally I'll get a cup of tea and something to eat but no, the midwives just moved my bed into a 4 bed ward and put Rebecca's plastic cot next to me and that was it.
I remember that in the ward although the curtains were closed around each bay there were other women as they were chatting on their phones for what seemed like all night.
I must have been tired though because I fell asleep but was woken some time later by a midwife who said she needed to take Rebecca for some tests. I again assumed it was in connection with the gestational diabetes and drifted back off to sleep. I must have been more exhausted than I thought.
Around about 01:00 on the Monday morning I was awoken again, this time by a paediatrician who asked me if I thought Rebecca looked like my other children. I was really surprised by the question and didn't understand but I said that I wasn't sure as she was a newborn and to be honest newborns always look a bit kind of squished for the first few hours.
This paediatrician who never actually told me her name then proceeded to change my world forever with her next sentence. She said, we think she's got "mongoloid features" indicating down syndrome so we need to do some further blood tests.
She left me and I burst into tears. It was the most alone and frightening moment. I remember out loud, crying out to God asking for Him, actually begging Him to heal her and not let this be so. It hurt so much. The pain felt physical as well as emotional.
Then a rather nice midwife came back and said that if I wanted to she could move me into a private room on the ward so I could grieve privately. I was really grateful for this and she also contacted my bereavement midwife - Julie Key.
Julie has been at the birth of each of my first 3 babies and helped me in so many ways throughout my pregnancies following Joshua's stillbirth in 2006. I've never been able to fully thank her properly for her help and support but I truly thank God for her.
Anyway, the Consultant came up and discussed Rebecca's clinical diagnosis saying that while they have sent off for tests to confirm their diagnosis they were certain that my perfect, precious, living baby girl did have Down Syndrome. Again I cried and felt so lost and alone. This news totally rocked my world.
But this lovely man - Dr Anil Pillai - reminded me that she is precious because she is a part of me, a part of my soul. So true.
So Rebecca's entry into the world was pretty hard to deal with and the first few weeks in the hospital were challenging to say the least. I was able to talk to James on the phone and tell him what had happened. He responded with such solid faith that God would help us and then he named her Rebecca Abigail. Rebecca means 'captivating, knotted cord' and Abigail means 'her fathers joy'.
So life went on, interrupted by constant hospital visits, numerous fights for life, feeding problems, breathing problems, chest problems but thankfully no heart problems.
We've had to endure a lot and this all affected our beautiful middle daughter Sophie, who was only 20 months old herself when Rebecca was born.
But and this is a big BUT. I wouldn't have experienced God in the way I have if things had been different. I love each one of my children with a fierce and passionate love that's indescribable.
Things were tough to begin with but the absolute joy I have now is worth more than gold or diamonds.
Rebecca started school this week and has come on in leaps and bounds. I saw her just the other day helping another child to put on his coat at home time. She doesn't know she has a diagnosis of Down Syndrome. She is just a kid like any other. She has incredible abilities and overcomes her limitations. She's so funny and very empathic and considerate to others she sees who may be sad. She's learned and is continuing to learn so much but so have I.
I've learned that God is always in control and there is no need to fear. He's got me. God is good and He helps me to parent each one of our incredible 3 living children.
I am blessed.
So happy 5th birthday Rebecca, thank you for so much joy.
Five years ago today, on a Sunday afternoon, due to a combination of circumstances, I was in a delivery room with 2 midwives when Rebecca gently slipped into the world.
She didn't cry and she seemed rather floppy but she was alive!
The midwives told me that they'd need to get a paediatrician to just check her over and that was it. I was in the High Dependency unit because during this pregnancy I'd had gestational diabetes so I assumed it was due to this.
A few moments later my beautiful mother arrived and she was thrilled to meet her new baby granddaughter.
The midwives dressed Rebecca in the outfit I'd brought for her and passed her to me to feed but she was so floppy she wouldn't feed. They'd also given her a little hat as she wasn't keeping her temperature. The midwives then changed shift and my Mum had to go home so I was left alone with Rebecca. It was a beautiful moment of peace as I gazed at her and thanked God for her life.
Then a rather officious midwife came in and took Rebecca from me and put her in a plastic cot. The kind they used to have at the hospital.
I should mention as well that at this stage Rebecca was actually nameless as it was James turn to name our child but he was away so we just gave her an interim nickname until he knew what to call her.
The midwife took myself and Rebecca up to the ward and I was thinking oh finally I'll get a cup of tea and something to eat but no, the midwives just moved my bed into a 4 bed ward and put Rebecca's plastic cot next to me and that was it.
I remember that in the ward although the curtains were closed around each bay there were other women as they were chatting on their phones for what seemed like all night.
I must have been tired though because I fell asleep but was woken some time later by a midwife who said she needed to take Rebecca for some tests. I again assumed it was in connection with the gestational diabetes and drifted back off to sleep. I must have been more exhausted than I thought.
Around about 01:00 on the Monday morning I was awoken again, this time by a paediatrician who asked me if I thought Rebecca looked like my other children. I was really surprised by the question and didn't understand but I said that I wasn't sure as she was a newborn and to be honest newborns always look a bit kind of squished for the first few hours.
This paediatrician who never actually told me her name then proceeded to change my world forever with her next sentence. She said, we think she's got "mongoloid features" indicating down syndrome so we need to do some further blood tests.
She left me and I burst into tears. It was the most alone and frightening moment. I remember out loud, crying out to God asking for Him, actually begging Him to heal her and not let this be so. It hurt so much. The pain felt physical as well as emotional.
Then a rather nice midwife came back and said that if I wanted to she could move me into a private room on the ward so I could grieve privately. I was really grateful for this and she also contacted my bereavement midwife - Julie Key.
Julie has been at the birth of each of my first 3 babies and helped me in so many ways throughout my pregnancies following Joshua's stillbirth in 2006. I've never been able to fully thank her properly for her help and support but I truly thank God for her.
Anyway, the Consultant came up and discussed Rebecca's clinical diagnosis saying that while they have sent off for tests to confirm their diagnosis they were certain that my perfect, precious, living baby girl did have Down Syndrome. Again I cried and felt so lost and alone. This news totally rocked my world.
But this lovely man - Dr Anil Pillai - reminded me that she is precious because she is a part of me, a part of my soul. So true.
So Rebecca's entry into the world was pretty hard to deal with and the first few weeks in the hospital were challenging to say the least. I was able to talk to James on the phone and tell him what had happened. He responded with such solid faith that God would help us and then he named her Rebecca Abigail. Rebecca means 'captivating, knotted cord' and Abigail means 'her fathers joy'.
So life went on, interrupted by constant hospital visits, numerous fights for life, feeding problems, breathing problems, chest problems but thankfully no heart problems.
We've had to endure a lot and this all affected our beautiful middle daughter Sophie, who was only 20 months old herself when Rebecca was born.
But and this is a big BUT. I wouldn't have experienced God in the way I have if things had been different. I love each one of my children with a fierce and passionate love that's indescribable.
Things were tough to begin with but the absolute joy I have now is worth more than gold or diamonds.
Rebecca started school this week and has come on in leaps and bounds. I saw her just the other day helping another child to put on his coat at home time. She doesn't know she has a diagnosis of Down Syndrome. She is just a kid like any other. She has incredible abilities and overcomes her limitations. She's so funny and very empathic and considerate to others she sees who may be sad. She's learned and is continuing to learn so much but so have I.
I've learned that God is always in control and there is no need to fear. He's got me. God is good and He helps me to parent each one of our incredible 3 living children.
I am blessed.
So happy 5th birthday Rebecca, thank you for so much joy.
Thursday, 10 August 2017
The Power of Music - The theme songs of my life
It never ceases to amaze me how powerful music is.
It may be the words - words are powerful, or it may be the melody, the kind that stays with you and which you keep humming all day long.
What I love though is when the words, the melody, the beat just kind of get you so much that it stirs your soul and your spirit. However, sometimes hearing the first few bars of a song can either put you in a happy place or take you to a memory which is so sad.
Sometimes it feels like every season of my life has it's own theme song. Putting on a playlist or mix-CD (from back in the day) is like opening a memory box and looking at the objects and thinking back to why they make you feel or remembering things that happened.
Some of the special theme songs in my life are special because of the season I was in at the time and the memories that are connected to them.
When I first became a Christian, I totally didn't "get" Christian music but there was and still is one song that touched my heart so deeply which perfectly summed up the season I started then and that song is MORE OF YOU To me this song has just never got old and listening to it still makes my heart soar. I still thirst for God, I still want more of God, I still love God, really love God and only in Him am I complete.
When I got married, I had this song played in the church before I walked in to John Denver's ANNIE's SONG. As long as I live Annie's song will always remind me of one of the happiest days of my life but it also reminds me of my precious Oma because I remember hearing her listen to a John Denver Greatest Hits album when I was small. So many happy, beautiful memories.
But then 9 months after the wedding, my first child was born. He was a beautiful little boy but he wasn't to be on this earth and he went straight to his Maker. As part of my healing process, I listened to a lot of my favourite songs from throughout my pregnancy and journalled and just tried to get a handle on the grief that threatened to overwhelm me.
I listened to some of the worship songs that I'd sung during the pregnancy and some which had a special resonance in the horrific aftermath. I made a mix CD of them which I called Songs for Baby Gulp. The CD included, amongst others:
- My Heart Is Yours by Grant Pankratz
- Held by Natalie Grant
- Safe Within Your Arms by Lara Martin and Mark Stevens
- Home by Michael Buble
Every time I hear Home, I still feel such a sense of missing my little baby and imagining what kind of young man he would be now had he lived. It's not often I listen to the CD but when I do, the pain bubbles just below the surface but also the healing too.
Each one of my 3 children has their own special song which we sing over them, changing some of the lyrics to include their names.
So Lara's song is Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by John Barrowman, Sophie's song is You Baby by the Mama's and the Papa's and Rebecca's is Hall of Fame by Will.i.am and The Script
My children adore music and have made their own favourite playlists including songs like Happy by Pharrell and several other movie soundtracks.
They're also really in to The Rend Collective.
One thing I've noticed about each one of my children is that they just love happy music.Music that you listen to which makes you smile and want to sing along and dance. It's so much fun singing along with the children.
The current season I'm in is one of utter joy. I'd say that the theme song of the first 6 months of 2017 was definitely BURNING ONES by Jesus Culture and the theme song for the current season is SET ME ABLAZE by Jesus Culture and I'm praying as the lyrics say that I'll keep burning with an endless passion.
It may be the words - words are powerful, or it may be the melody, the kind that stays with you and which you keep humming all day long.
What I love though is when the words, the melody, the beat just kind of get you so much that it stirs your soul and your spirit. However, sometimes hearing the first few bars of a song can either put you in a happy place or take you to a memory which is so sad.
Sometimes it feels like every season of my life has it's own theme song. Putting on a playlist or mix-CD (from back in the day) is like opening a memory box and looking at the objects and thinking back to why they make you feel or remembering things that happened.
Some of the special theme songs in my life are special because of the season I was in at the time and the memories that are connected to them.
When I first became a Christian, I totally didn't "get" Christian music but there was and still is one song that touched my heart so deeply which perfectly summed up the season I started then and that song is MORE OF YOU To me this song has just never got old and listening to it still makes my heart soar. I still thirst for God, I still want more of God, I still love God, really love God and only in Him am I complete.
When I got married, I had this song played in the church before I walked in to John Denver's ANNIE's SONG. As long as I live Annie's song will always remind me of one of the happiest days of my life but it also reminds me of my precious Oma because I remember hearing her listen to a John Denver Greatest Hits album when I was small. So many happy, beautiful memories.
But then 9 months after the wedding, my first child was born. He was a beautiful little boy but he wasn't to be on this earth and he went straight to his Maker. As part of my healing process, I listened to a lot of my favourite songs from throughout my pregnancy and journalled and just tried to get a handle on the grief that threatened to overwhelm me.
I listened to some of the worship songs that I'd sung during the pregnancy and some which had a special resonance in the horrific aftermath. I made a mix CD of them which I called Songs for Baby Gulp. The CD included, amongst others:
- My Heart Is Yours by Grant Pankratz
- Held by Natalie Grant
- Safe Within Your Arms by Lara Martin and Mark Stevens
- Home by Michael Buble
Every time I hear Home, I still feel such a sense of missing my little baby and imagining what kind of young man he would be now had he lived. It's not often I listen to the CD but when I do, the pain bubbles just below the surface but also the healing too.
Each one of my 3 children has their own special song which we sing over them, changing some of the lyrics to include their names.
So Lara's song is Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by John Barrowman, Sophie's song is You Baby by the Mama's and the Papa's and Rebecca's is Hall of Fame by Will.i.am and The Script
My children adore music and have made their own favourite playlists including songs like Happy by Pharrell and several other movie soundtracks.
They're also really in to The Rend Collective.
One thing I've noticed about each one of my children is that they just love happy music.Music that you listen to which makes you smile and want to sing along and dance. It's so much fun singing along with the children.
The current season I'm in is one of utter joy. I'd say that the theme song of the first 6 months of 2017 was definitely BURNING ONES by Jesus Culture and the theme song for the current season is SET ME ABLAZE by Jesus Culture and I'm praying as the lyrics say that I'll keep burning with an endless passion.
Friday, 4 August 2017
When My Time Is Done
So, I've just been sat in a meeting and something that someone said in that meeting made me think about when my time is done here on this earth, what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind.
That's the kind of question that requires a fair bit of thinking about but my initial gut reaction is as follows:
Do I want to build a great company that employs many people and builds something for generations to make their livelihoods from, like Sir Titus Salt?
Do I want to be an educational innovator like Margaret McMillan who was passionate about children's health and education?
Do I want to be a great leader who comes up with solutions to the problems facing our world; people like Bill Gates leading the Bill & Mellissa Gates Foundation seeking to address the causes of a range of issues and eradicating polio and malaria?
Do I want to lead a charity that relieves people of the burden of debt and introduces them to their Saviour like Matt Barlow, CEO of Christians Against Poverty?
Do I want to lead the country, navigating it through a difficult time to a place of economic prosperity where all people feel the benefits?
(I'm not going to name a person for this one because it would colour the perspective depending on the political party and opinions about whoever I named.)
Do I want to be a well known worldwide evangelist like Smith Wigglesworth or a superb faith healer inspiring a movement such as the Healing Rooms like John G Lake ?
You may not know who some of these people are and for that matter you may not even care but I think if I distill everything down all I really want to do is:
leave the world in a healthier place;
raise children who have lofty ideals and have massive vision for this world and their place in it;
work as hard as I can to get everything out of me while I am alive so that I don't die with untapped potential;
to share as much as I can with others so that individuals are able to work hard and provide for their families for generations to come.
I don't need to be recognised or remembered, no monuments built or earthly honours or anything like that but I do want to leave the world in a far better place than it currently is, so that I know people are going to live happier, healthier lives and know their true identities and be confident to achieve all that they can.
Just like Bill Gates who wants to eradicate polio and malaria and address poverty, I want to see the eradication of lack. I want to see an end to economic and spiritual poverty. I want to see an end to disease and an increase in better health outcomes and a closing of the gap between rich and poor. I want young and old, and different races and cultures to work well and live well together in harmony. I want to see an end to bitterness and disappoint and pain and loss. I want to see the acceptance that everyone is unique and therefore everyone is accepted and respected. I want to see health and wholeness.
I want a lot and forgive my idealism but like Bill Gates if you focus on some ideals you may just achieve them!
I don't need to be like anyone else in particular but I do need to be myself and live out my reason for being, to the very best of my God given ability, knowing that I lived a life well so that if anyone knows me they can be inspired to live their lives well also and know that it's their turn, when my time is done.
That's the kind of question that requires a fair bit of thinking about but my initial gut reaction is as follows:
Do I want to build a great company that employs many people and builds something for generations to make their livelihoods from, like Sir Titus Salt?
Do I want to be an educational innovator like Margaret McMillan who was passionate about children's health and education?
Do I want to be a great leader who comes up with solutions to the problems facing our world; people like Bill Gates leading the Bill & Mellissa Gates Foundation seeking to address the causes of a range of issues and eradicating polio and malaria?
Do I want to lead a charity that relieves people of the burden of debt and introduces them to their Saviour like Matt Barlow, CEO of Christians Against Poverty?
Do I want to lead the country, navigating it through a difficult time to a place of economic prosperity where all people feel the benefits?
(I'm not going to name a person for this one because it would colour the perspective depending on the political party and opinions about whoever I named.)
Do I want to be a well known worldwide evangelist like Smith Wigglesworth or a superb faith healer inspiring a movement such as the Healing Rooms like John G Lake ?
You may not know who some of these people are and for that matter you may not even care but I think if I distill everything down all I really want to do is:
leave the world in a healthier place;
raise children who have lofty ideals and have massive vision for this world and their place in it;
work as hard as I can to get everything out of me while I am alive so that I don't die with untapped potential;
to share as much as I can with others so that individuals are able to work hard and provide for their families for generations to come.
I don't need to be recognised or remembered, no monuments built or earthly honours or anything like that but I do want to leave the world in a far better place than it currently is, so that I know people are going to live happier, healthier lives and know their true identities and be confident to achieve all that they can.
Just like Bill Gates who wants to eradicate polio and malaria and address poverty, I want to see the eradication of lack. I want to see an end to economic and spiritual poverty. I want to see an end to disease and an increase in better health outcomes and a closing of the gap between rich and poor. I want young and old, and different races and cultures to work well and live well together in harmony. I want to see an end to bitterness and disappoint and pain and loss. I want to see the acceptance that everyone is unique and therefore everyone is accepted and respected. I want to see health and wholeness.
I want a lot and forgive my idealism but like Bill Gates if you focus on some ideals you may just achieve them!
I don't need to be like anyone else in particular but I do need to be myself and live out my reason for being, to the very best of my God given ability, knowing that I lived a life well so that if anyone knows me they can be inspired to live their lives well also and know that it's their turn, when my time is done.
Saturday, 6 May 2017
Transition
Wow, just realised that I haven't posted anything on here in quite a while.
I've been going through a period of transition. At first, it seemed like it was quite painful until while praying about it, I realised that transitions are actually natural and often painless with an appearance of being effortless.
For instance, we can witness a child learning to walk and after the first few tentative steps and stumbles they're off without a backward glance.
The seasons transition with apparent effortlessness, spring comes upon us so quickly and we often don't realise it's here until we start to see the visible signs of new leaves, plants and flowers beginning to show through. But, they were growing way before we noticed. Unseen but growing. Transitioning.
So hoping that my transition will appear to be effortless but result in great growth and beautiful fruit.
I've been going through a period of transition. At first, it seemed like it was quite painful until while praying about it, I realised that transitions are actually natural and often painless with an appearance of being effortless.
For instance, we can witness a child learning to walk and after the first few tentative steps and stumbles they're off without a backward glance.
The seasons transition with apparent effortlessness, spring comes upon us so quickly and we often don't realise it's here until we start to see the visible signs of new leaves, plants and flowers beginning to show through. But, they were growing way before we noticed. Unseen but growing. Transitioning.
So hoping that my transition will appear to be effortless but result in great growth and beautiful fruit.
Saturday, 1 October 2016
I, Daniel Blake
I've just got back from seeing a screening of I, Daniel Blake and to be honest it wrecked me. You see as a debt caseworker, I speak to far too many people who are at their wits end, having been ground down by the 'system'.
If someone is too ill to work they are supposed to be helped by claiming Employment & Support Allowance (ESA) but if they are of working age and fit to work then they are supposed to receive help by claiming Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) until they are able to find a job.
However, there is a shocking number of people that I speak to who fall in between and are considered by the Department for Work & Pensions (DWP) to be fit for work, so are turned down for ESA but they are not fit enough to work so aren't able to claim JSA.
In the film, Daniel Blake is one of these people. He's suffered a major heart attack prior to the opening of the film and his doctors and consultants have advised him not to work until he has recovered. He is turned down for ESA because a decision maker has decided that he's not ill enough based on a certain set of questions and not on his actual circumstances or health reports from his doctor.
Daniel is a highly skilled carpenter but not computer literate so struggles to navigate the whole benefits system from start to finish as all applications have to be done online. Apparently the DWP is digital by default which means if you are not computer literate or don't have access to a computer you will fall foul of the 'system'.
Daniel meets a young single mother trying to get by but as she's from London and has been moved to the North East for housing, she doesn't know her way around and is a few minutes late for her signing on appointment. The benefits adviser is completely intransigent and appears to just follow rules and regulations rather than have an ounce of compassion or understanding in order to be able to exercise any discretion .
Sadly, none of what is described in the film is a surprise and therein lies my problem with it. The film is superb and I'm so glad that Ken Loach and his team have shone a light onto what is a reality for the films characters but sadly it's an all too common situation for many people across our country. Most films can be easily dismissed as just works of fiction but this is just too close to reality but of course that's something that marks out a Ken Loach film.
It utterly disgusts me that our country appears to have no sense of humanity, that there are people being ground down and utterly demoralised by the system, the lack of decent, affordable housing, the dismantling of communities and the lack of good, well paying jobs. It disgusts me that there are people unable to afford to feed themselves or pay for basic necessities.
It reminded me so much of my childhood being brought up by a single parent mother who struggled desperately to keep a roof over our heads and to feed and clothe us. She was lucky enough to be able to get a job and she worked full time for most of my childhood. The gaps in between work were relatively few and far between but it also meant that I had to look after myself for much of the time with a key on a string around my neck when I was very young and also a house where we had no floor coverings at all, just a concrete floor and only a square of blanket to sit on. Eventually, my mother was able to furnish that flat but it was tough at the beginning.
Thankfully, our lives are far better now and I was able to leave the cinema after watching I, Daniel Blake, and get into my car and drive home to my family for lunch. We have food in our cupboards and don't have to worry about paying our mortgage and electricity etc but it could so easily be very different. I almost felt guilty about having enough, when so many people have so little. If anything I am more determined than ever to make a difference and do all that I can in whichever sphere I can to help others and to show some human compassion to everyone I speak to.
In fact, between Oct 3 - 23rd many of my colleagues and Christians Against Poverty (CAP) supporters will be doing #20for20 which is 20 days of highlighting the work of CAP and to raise funds for CAP which this year has been going for 20 years. Sadly, our work is still more desperately needed than ever. If you want to help in any way with any kind of financial gift no matter how small then please visit https://www.capuk.org/get-involved/donate?source=michelleswallow
(During the next 20 days I will be giving up watching TV or catch up as many of our clients can't afford electricity or TV licences and I will be donating the equivalent of the daily TV licence fee to CAP. As I didn't think this was enough I will also give up using my car for 20 days and try to walk everywhere if possible and donate the equivalent amount of money that I would have spent on fuel to CAP. Some of my colleagues will be living on only £1 per day.)
Finally, please go and see the film I, Daniel Blake and let it move you to action of some kind to make a difference for our fellow human beings.
If someone is too ill to work they are supposed to be helped by claiming Employment & Support Allowance (ESA) but if they are of working age and fit to work then they are supposed to receive help by claiming Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) until they are able to find a job.
However, there is a shocking number of people that I speak to who fall in between and are considered by the Department for Work & Pensions (DWP) to be fit for work, so are turned down for ESA but they are not fit enough to work so aren't able to claim JSA.
In the film, Daniel Blake is one of these people. He's suffered a major heart attack prior to the opening of the film and his doctors and consultants have advised him not to work until he has recovered. He is turned down for ESA because a decision maker has decided that he's not ill enough based on a certain set of questions and not on his actual circumstances or health reports from his doctor.
Daniel is a highly skilled carpenter but not computer literate so struggles to navigate the whole benefits system from start to finish as all applications have to be done online. Apparently the DWP is digital by default which means if you are not computer literate or don't have access to a computer you will fall foul of the 'system'.
Daniel meets a young single mother trying to get by but as she's from London and has been moved to the North East for housing, she doesn't know her way around and is a few minutes late for her signing on appointment. The benefits adviser is completely intransigent and appears to just follow rules and regulations rather than have an ounce of compassion or understanding in order to be able to exercise any discretion .
Sadly, none of what is described in the film is a surprise and therein lies my problem with it. The film is superb and I'm so glad that Ken Loach and his team have shone a light onto what is a reality for the films characters but sadly it's an all too common situation for many people across our country. Most films can be easily dismissed as just works of fiction but this is just too close to reality but of course that's something that marks out a Ken Loach film.
It utterly disgusts me that our country appears to have no sense of humanity, that there are people being ground down and utterly demoralised by the system, the lack of decent, affordable housing, the dismantling of communities and the lack of good, well paying jobs. It disgusts me that there are people unable to afford to feed themselves or pay for basic necessities.
It reminded me so much of my childhood being brought up by a single parent mother who struggled desperately to keep a roof over our heads and to feed and clothe us. She was lucky enough to be able to get a job and she worked full time for most of my childhood. The gaps in between work were relatively few and far between but it also meant that I had to look after myself for much of the time with a key on a string around my neck when I was very young and also a house where we had no floor coverings at all, just a concrete floor and only a square of blanket to sit on. Eventually, my mother was able to furnish that flat but it was tough at the beginning.
Thankfully, our lives are far better now and I was able to leave the cinema after watching I, Daniel Blake, and get into my car and drive home to my family for lunch. We have food in our cupboards and don't have to worry about paying our mortgage and electricity etc but it could so easily be very different. I almost felt guilty about having enough, when so many people have so little. If anything I am more determined than ever to make a difference and do all that I can in whichever sphere I can to help others and to show some human compassion to everyone I speak to.
In fact, between Oct 3 - 23rd many of my colleagues and Christians Against Poverty (CAP) supporters will be doing #20for20 which is 20 days of highlighting the work of CAP and to raise funds for CAP which this year has been going for 20 years. Sadly, our work is still more desperately needed than ever. If you want to help in any way with any kind of financial gift no matter how small then please visit https://www.capuk.org/get-involved/donate?source=michelleswallow
(During the next 20 days I will be giving up watching TV or catch up as many of our clients can't afford electricity or TV licences and I will be donating the equivalent of the daily TV licence fee to CAP. As I didn't think this was enough I will also give up using my car for 20 days and try to walk everywhere if possible and donate the equivalent amount of money that I would have spent on fuel to CAP. Some of my colleagues will be living on only £1 per day.)
Finally, please go and see the film I, Daniel Blake and let it move you to action of some kind to make a difference for our fellow human beings.
Thursday, 16 June 2016
Ogden Water
I've brought my youngest daughter, Rebecca, for a breath of fresh air, up to one of my favourite places - Ogden Water.
It has a very special place in my heart and I've been here often.
When James and I were dating we used to come here for pleasant walks and we had our wedding photos taken here too. When I was pregnant with our firstborn child, when I wasn't too ill (which was very rarely, as I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum), we tried to get up here for a walk.
Then after he was stillborn, I spent many hours up here in this spot pouring out my heart to God and feeling so alone and heartbroken.
Since then we've been often as a family and I still come alone or with one of the children.
It's a precious place of beauty and peace. The sound of the multitude of birds singing is like hearing the most incredible choir and I'm so grateful to the friends and families of those who have passed on from this life and donated benches for those of us who are still here to sit and pause for a while from the busyness of life.
It has a very special place in my heart and I've been here often.
When James and I were dating we used to come here for pleasant walks and we had our wedding photos taken here too. When I was pregnant with our firstborn child, when I wasn't too ill (which was very rarely, as I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum), we tried to get up here for a walk.
Then after he was stillborn, I spent many hours up here in this spot pouring out my heart to God and feeling so alone and heartbroken.
Since then we've been often as a family and I still come alone or with one of the children.
It's a precious place of beauty and peace. The sound of the multitude of birds singing is like hearing the most incredible choir and I'm so grateful to the friends and families of those who have passed on from this life and donated benches for those of us who are still here to sit and pause for a while from the busyness of life.
Tuesday, 24 May 2016
25th May 2016
Hmmm, so tomorrow is a difficult day.
I have so many blessings in my life and so much to be thankful for but tomorrow will be the 10th birthday of my little son Joshua James.
Sadly, he was stillborn, so 10 years ago I never got to hear him cry. I was able to cuddle him but never got to feel his tiny fingers curl around my finger.
I was able to bathe him but never got to see him wriggle and squirm or chuckle.
It amazes me that 10 years have gone by and I survived. My husband James has survived and together we have overcome the grief that at first appeared to be overwhelming. We have been blessed with 3 gorgeous daughters but...
I often wonder about what 10 year old Joshua would be like.
I have wondered about what he would be like every day of every one of the last 10 years.
I have wondered what colour eyes he would have had and whether his hair would have stayed so dark that it was almost black.
I have wondered about the sound of his voice, about what kind of person he is or would have been.
It still hurts that I missed out on being his mother and I wish the situation was different but throughout the last 10 years I have been blessed by an Awesome God who works ALL things for the good of those who love Him.
Tomorrow is not just about Joshua though. Tomorrow is also my stepfather's birthday and my Oma's birthday.
And tomorrow is also the day I have to go to a funeral of a friend and colleague and say goodbye to her.
I'd so much rather not go. I hate funerals and I hate death but it is right that I get the chance to honour her by saying a last farewell. I can't believe she's gone. It's only a couple of weeks since I last saw her as we celebrated the election results together.
My one regret is that she really wanted to go and have a Knickerbocker glory ice cream and I never went to have one with her.
As I say my goodbyes tomorrow I will be focussing on Lynne but Joshua will remain in my heart, tomorrow and always.
I have so many blessings in my life and so much to be thankful for but tomorrow will be the 10th birthday of my little son Joshua James.
Sadly, he was stillborn, so 10 years ago I never got to hear him cry. I was able to cuddle him but never got to feel his tiny fingers curl around my finger.
I was able to bathe him but never got to see him wriggle and squirm or chuckle.
It amazes me that 10 years have gone by and I survived. My husband James has survived and together we have overcome the grief that at first appeared to be overwhelming. We have been blessed with 3 gorgeous daughters but...
I often wonder about what 10 year old Joshua would be like.
I have wondered about what he would be like every day of every one of the last 10 years.
I have wondered what colour eyes he would have had and whether his hair would have stayed so dark that it was almost black.
I have wondered about the sound of his voice, about what kind of person he is or would have been.
It still hurts that I missed out on being his mother and I wish the situation was different but throughout the last 10 years I have been blessed by an Awesome God who works ALL things for the good of those who love Him.
Tomorrow is not just about Joshua though. Tomorrow is also my stepfather's birthday and my Oma's birthday.
And tomorrow is also the day I have to go to a funeral of a friend and colleague and say goodbye to her.
I'd so much rather not go. I hate funerals and I hate death but it is right that I get the chance to honour her by saying a last farewell. I can't believe she's gone. It's only a couple of weeks since I last saw her as we celebrated the election results together.
My one regret is that she really wanted to go and have a Knickerbocker glory ice cream and I never went to have one with her.
As I say my goodbyes tomorrow I will be focussing on Lynne but Joshua will remain in my heart, tomorrow and always.
Sunday, 15 May 2016
Lynne
Today I was devastated to hear of the death of my friend, my
mentor, my colleague, Wibsey Councillor Lynne Smith.
She was there by my side when I won my first election in May
2012 (pictured below) and always looked out for me, encouraged me and showed me the ropes, so to
speak. I worked with her on the Governance & Audit Committee and was amazed
at her shrewd, analytical mind and her passion for ensuring that processes were both
fit for purpose and adhered to. Woe betide anyone who didn’t follow correct
procedure. She had a very sharp tongue and used it when warranted but only because
her heart was in the right place.
We had a couple of run ins early on but we worked
it through and when I thought she was out of order I told her so and again we
worked it through. Our friendship was forged through these exchanges and our
honesty with one another. We both put our names in the hat for the selection
for a parliamentary seat and kept our friendship intact. She taught me how it
is truly possible to have disagreements in politics and still be friends but
that it was important to air those disagreements one to one and not to snipe
and stab others in the back. If only others could be like her.
When I was first elected she saw that certain other people were attempting to take me under their wing and sadly they turned
out not to be trusted. In fact they were downright toxic. They didn't have anyone's best interests at heart, other than their own. They would bitch about her and yet she maintained her dignity and kept her focus on what was important. To Lynne what was important, was serving others and not letting anyone else distract her from serving the community she was elected to represent. She poured her life out to serve others and to ensure fairness and equality for all. She cared deeply and was a true socialist.
Lynne, was a true friend and she understood the
value of friendship and was passionate about encouraging people wanting to
learn and develop themselves to be as effective as they possibly could be, to
better serve the community and the whole District.
Last week, we had the first part of our Labour Group AGM and
she came down to participate. The atmosphere of that meeting was particularly
unpleasant and there was a significant lack of courtesy and respect and yet she
didn’t fight back, she retained her dignity.
Our Group will be the worse without her and she will be a
tough act to follow both as a ward Councillor and as the Chair of Governance
& Audit.
I will miss you Lynne on both a personal and a professional level. You were a dear friend. God bless you and may you rest in peace.
Tuesday, 24 November 2015
Cycling - post 1
This evening I went to do a basic cycle maintenance course courtesy of go: cycling down at Bradford's Cycle Re:cycle workshop.
I learned how to do the 'M' check on a bike, change brake pads, take off a wheel, a tyre and repair a puncture.
It was really good fun but also gave me a sense of confidence that I am capable of doing basic repairs if needed.
The odd thing though is that I don't actually cycle regularly or indeed at all.
Back in 2011, after my middle daughter was born, I was determined to improve my health and fitness, as well as gain some new life skills. I found out that Bradford Council together with other partners incl NHS etc were doing cycling lessons for women on a Saturday morning. Going from never having ridden a bicycle to being able to ride a mountain bike around Roberts Park and along the canal towpath gave my confidence an incredible boost.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself and encouraged other women to join me. We had a blast and had a great teacher who each week helped us gain in confidence and skill.
Since then, I purchased a cheap bike from Bradford Cycle Re: Cycle with the intention that I would cycle to work, cycle for leisure and generally enjoy my new skill. I even bought a trailer to put my children in while they were small.
However, I was too afraid to cycle on the roads of Bradford. I'm sorry I'm a wuss but it's terrifying out there.
But following tonight's bike maintenance course, I'm going to get my old bike out and have a look to see what condition it's in and then make a concerted effort to get out on the road. I'll definitely be getting a bit of help though http://www.wygocycling.com/free_training/
Sunday, 20 September 2015
Jeremy Corbyn
Since last Saturday (12th September) when Jeremy Corbyn was duly elected to be Leader of the Labour Party, I have lost count of the number of people who have asked me my thoughts on him and his victory.
So I thought I'd try and figure out what my thinking on Corbyn is.
I was 100% behind Andy Burnham in his leadership campaign and was really disappointed for him. But, I know that Andy Burnham is 100% loyal to his leader whoever that is. That gives me a start towards my feelings on Corbyn. To take on the Government and to effectively challenge them Corbyn needs our loyalty and support.
I am also guided by another person I respect who has worked for more politicians than I could ever have met. Right at the outset of the leadership election, he stated that he was supporting Corbyn and did the design on his print materials. (Not that I got any communication from Corbyn during the leadership election campaigning.)
My thoughts are this:
Jeremy Corbyn has been duly elected.
I instinctively support his anti-austerity platform because it is right and because I see the impact of the Government's flawed austerity agenda on the poorest and most vulnerable people in our community and on local government.
I really want a Labour Government in 2020 and although many are repeating the mantra that Jeremy Corbyn won't or can't win, well what if he did? Stranger things have happened.
I support Jeremy Corbyn's stance on renationalisation of the railways and Andy Burnham's suggestion of how this could be done. When EastCoast mainline was in public control recently while waiting for tenders it made money for the Treasury!
Jeremy Corbyn's age: my reaction is so what? When did our society become so ageist? Our political leaders always used to be older and it was accepted that they would have life experience and that's not such a bad thing.
Singing the National Anthem: I was aghast at the media's reaction to this. Seriously, who cares whether a politician sings along to a song when actually what should have been in the news are the issues of:
cuts to tax credits which provide a safety net to poor families,
increasing numbers of people (including children) having to go to places where volunteer groups provide meals and food banks and so many more important issues.
If his focus, as mine is, is to do good for people then more power to his elbow.
So ultimately, let's give the bloke a chance. I have a feeling we'll be pleasantly surprised.
Thursday, 17 September 2015
Freesia
I went to see Arakan Creative's new film Freesia this evening. I still don't really know how to properly communicate how I felt while watching it.
The production is really brilliant. I recognised so many of the locations as it is filmed locally and I even recognised some of my lovely constituents who appear in the film.
But let's be honest although the acting is great and it's a really well done film, the subject that it is highlighting is actually quite horrific. I will try not to give any spoilers away but basically it's 3 separate stories intertwined which highlight different aspects of Islamophobia.
To be honest this is what I found so difficult. I genuinely do not care what colour a persons skin is or what languages they speak or what religion they follow. I care that we are all human and have so much to learn from one another and to share with one another. It hurts to see and be confronted with such ignorance, hate, bigotry and persecution of one group of people by another group of people.
However, there is hope.
There's a beautiful scene in the film which I think will stay with me for a long time, where a white lady at a bus stop strikes up a conversation with a young Muslim girl. It's really beautiful and I hope that we can all have a lot more conversations like the "bus stop" conversation where we just chat and get on with being nice humans.
When you see Freesia advertised on general release or at any festivals etc - I highly recommend you take the time to see this incredible piece of work.
The production is really brilliant. I recognised so many of the locations as it is filmed locally and I even recognised some of my lovely constituents who appear in the film.
But let's be honest although the acting is great and it's a really well done film, the subject that it is highlighting is actually quite horrific. I will try not to give any spoilers away but basically it's 3 separate stories intertwined which highlight different aspects of Islamophobia.
To be honest this is what I found so difficult. I genuinely do not care what colour a persons skin is or what languages they speak or what religion they follow. I care that we are all human and have so much to learn from one another and to share with one another. It hurts to see and be confronted with such ignorance, hate, bigotry and persecution of one group of people by another group of people.
However, there is hope.
There's a beautiful scene in the film which I think will stay with me for a long time, where a white lady at a bus stop strikes up a conversation with a young Muslim girl. It's really beautiful and I hope that we can all have a lot more conversations like the "bus stop" conversation where we just chat and get on with being nice humans.
When you see Freesia advertised on general release or at any festivals etc - I highly recommend you take the time to see this incredible piece of work.
Freesia
Three
Tuesday, 15 September 2015
Street Feeding & Volunteering
Street Feeding - It's been a while since I last went down to help out with the In Touch Foundation team but this evening I joined them in Bradford City Centre to serve food to over 70 people in the drizzly rain.
I was expecting that it would be pretty much the same people who I had served at the Curry Circle last Thursday (see my recent post) but sadly there were only approximately 5-6 people that had also been there. It worries me that there are so many people in Bradford in need of a basic essential - a hot meal.
Think about it as you read this. Imagine having to queue up among a crowd of other people wondering if there will be enough food for you, wondering what it is, wondering if it will keep you filled until your next meal.
There is a reason why the food is served on the street out in the open and that is because the food is taken to where the people in need are and where they congregate.
It saddened me to see people I know, people I don't know and people who have disabilities or addictions. There were people from every different background - young, old, male, female. People who didn't want to talk and didn't raise their eyes and people who wanted the interaction and a bit of human contact and a genuine, caring, smile.
After all the guests have eaten their fill - firsts, seconds and takeaways if wanted, all the volunteers are encouraged to eat. It's a beautiful act of fellowship and togetherness as well as ensuring that there is zero food waste.
Volunteering - What I did love however, both about this evening with the In Touch Foundation group and the Muslim Women's Council - Curry Circle group, is that the volunteers are all truly amazing individuals also drawn from every background - also young, old, male, female, different faith backgrounds and none. This evening I met teachers, charity workers, supermarket workers and degree students from all over our District and beyond. Some people who live elsewhere but work or study in Bradford and then stay late to help serve.
The volunteers in our District do Bradford proud. There are so many people who give of themselves to serve others and in so doing they are making our community a very special place to be.
I was expecting that it would be pretty much the same people who I had served at the Curry Circle last Thursday (see my recent post) but sadly there were only approximately 5-6 people that had also been there. It worries me that there are so many people in Bradford in need of a basic essential - a hot meal.
Think about it as you read this. Imagine having to queue up among a crowd of other people wondering if there will be enough food for you, wondering what it is, wondering if it will keep you filled until your next meal.
There is a reason why the food is served on the street out in the open and that is because the food is taken to where the people in need are and where they congregate.
It saddened me to see people I know, people I don't know and people who have disabilities or addictions. There were people from every different background - young, old, male, female. People who didn't want to talk and didn't raise their eyes and people who wanted the interaction and a bit of human contact and a genuine, caring, smile.
After all the guests have eaten their fill - firsts, seconds and takeaways if wanted, all the volunteers are encouraged to eat. It's a beautiful act of fellowship and togetherness as well as ensuring that there is zero food waste.
Volunteering - What I did love however, both about this evening with the In Touch Foundation group and the Muslim Women's Council - Curry Circle group, is that the volunteers are all truly amazing individuals also drawn from every background - also young, old, male, female, different faith backgrounds and none. This evening I met teachers, charity workers, supermarket workers and degree students from all over our District and beyond. Some people who live elsewhere but work or study in Bradford and then stay late to help serve.
The volunteers in our District do Bradford proud. There are so many people who give of themselves to serve others and in so doing they are making our community a very special place to be.
Saturday, 12 September 2015
Hate vs Love
This is going to take me a while to process.
I went to see Halima's Path today as part of the Remembering Srebenica events co-ordinated by my colleagues Cllrs Adrian Farley and Alex Ross-Shaw.
The film is essentially about a grieving mother trying to find her adopted son who was of mixed heritage.
The film itself was really well done and it's obvious why it's won so many awards.
But, the reality of the hate that exists in our world, the way we think about ourselves and others, the way one group of people persecutes another, the way we let hate, instead of love, prevail, really hit me.
It reminded me of Rwanda and the hate that devastated that nation in 1994.
It reminded me of the Troubles in Northern Ireland.
It reminded me of Apartheid in South Africa.
It reminded me of the Holocaust and the persecution by the Nazi's of anyone who they didn't like, disabled, Jews, LGBT, Roma and so on.
It reminded me of Israel and Palestine.
Is it really hate though or is it lack of understanding, lack of friendship between people who have different backgrounds?
It hurts to look at the darkness in the world.
But as Martin Luther King said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
So my prayer is that I want to be part of bringing light and love into more of this world.
Thursday, 10 September 2015
The Curry Circle
I'm writing this from the comfort of my own home. It may just be a modest terrace house but it's warm, comfortable and there's a well stocked kitchen.
But the same cannot be said for all of the incredible men, women and children I met this evening.
Myself and a colleague, Cllr Arshad Hussain, went to serve alongside a team of volunteers at the Muslim Women's Council, Curry Circle.
The Curry Circle is not like any other food bank or "soup kitchen" I've ever experienced before (and I have experienced a few). The first thing I noticed was the way everything was laid out like a banquet, with round tables and crisp white table cloths. It's like a banquet of Grace.
We arrived at 6pm and already there were so many people gathered, sharing conversation over hot cups of tea, coffee or hot chocolate.
The incredibly delicious food is made and delivered by My Lahore's so the guests at this Curry Circle evening get beautiful food.
There is zero waste because when the food has been served from 7pm and when everyone has eaten they are welcome to have seconds and if they have a tub or container they can take some food away with them.
On this particular evening because we've had nice summer weather, an ice cream van came along and everyone (including volunteers) was treated to an ice-cream.
For those 2 hours it felt like we were all the same and we all belonged there, as part of One Bradford, united in fellowship over a meal. There was no preaching, no strings just love, acceptance, belonging and grace.
However, as I drove home afterwards, I couldn't stop the tears. It hurts my heart that there are so many people in need of good food, companionship and love. Yes, they received this at the Curry Circle but what now? Not everyone is blessed with warm, secure, affordable, comfortable places to call home. Not everyone has a sense of belonging.
As I go about the rest of my evening and week, I will also be holding these people and volunteers in my heart.
I am and always have been determined that politics is for purpose. We must ensure that whatever can be done is done to help those in our community who may need or want help.
Thursday, 13 August 2015
The Day Bradford Went To Bridlington
Today, I joined in on the community trip from Bradford to Bridlington.
It was a great fun day out with families from all across the whole Bradford District. There was so much joy and laughter and squeals of delight from the children.
My favourite quote of the day was from a young lad running past shouting, "Mum, Aisha's chasing me with a dead fish!"
The joy of the day for me is that no-one gave a monkey's about race, religion or disability. We just all enjoyed ourselves on our adventures to the seaside.
This was Bradford at it's best.
Saturday, 9 May 2015
Election Results 2015
I can't even properly explain how depressed I feel right now about the election results. The sad thing is I can't pin it down to anything more I personally could have done.
I did all the right things - I gave donations and committed to monthly giving towards the Labour Party General Election fund. I campaigned until it hurt. I went to all sorts of areas to campaign (Keighley, Pudsey, Bradford West, Bradford South and numerous different council wards). I delivered a small forest worth of leaflets. I put my children in full time day care and took loads of time off work to do all this.
Bradford Labour Group maintained a majority on Bradford Metropolitan District Council for the second year running, and 3 out of the 5 constituencies now have Labour MP's, so this was an achievement of sorts I guess, but those MP's should have been in government, not in the opposition.
There is nothing more that I could have done and yet I feel like I failed. I am only 1 person but the same feeling could be felt by hundreds of thousands of party activists. Collectively we achieved so much and sacrificed so much to do it. We had millions of conversations with people on the Labour Doorstep over the last 5 years and it feels like it was all for nothing.
I have seen all sorts of comments on various social media platforms ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous and although I hate that we are now stuck with a Conservative government that is democracy. Sometimes we do not get what we want or what our country desperately needs.
But, this is not a time to give up. It is time to regroup, focus on what our core principles are and keep reaching out to the people in our communities. We need to get right back to being a grass roots movement and properly connect with members, supporters and communities.
There are people who seem to think that being a member of the Labour Party means being a member of 'new Labour' which is ridiculously untrue. The Labour Party is a broad church of people from all sorts of different traditions and backgrounds. If more traditional Labour people got more involved then there would be less of the 'new' Labour people that some don't like. I'm a big believer in changing things from the inside by getting involved.
(Quick advert - if you feel inspired to join the Labour Party click here )
We achieve so much more together by our collective endeavour than we do alone. The world is so very individualist and yet the area I am proud to serve (Clayton & Fairweather Green) has amazing groups of people who work closely together, volunteering for the greater good of others and our community.
We need better political education so that our hard work as councillors (or MP's or community activists) is properly communicated and understood. There is so much we do in the background that no-one ever sees and if we never communicate it then the people we have worked hard for will never know.
I had too many conversations with people who said that they think all politicians are the same. It's a common refrain but is genuinely not true. We need to communicate why that's not true. Each person in an area needs to feel a connection with their local representatives.
Issues around immigration were also raised and it's a hard conversation to have. Not everyone who expresses their concerns about immigration is a racist and to label them as such is appalling. Most of the people I listened to on this subject were concerned that if immigrants are coming into our country for work then this reduces the number of job opportunities for our own nationals. It puts pressure on our NHS and other public services. Also even though non-UK citizens are not able to receive benefits until they have been resident here for 2 years there is a perception that immigrants are costing our country millions in benefit payments. Whereas the truth is that EU migrants are actually contributing more into our economy than they are taking out. See http://www.richardcorbett.org.uk/britons-lose-out-because-of-eu-migration/
Also while on this subject the conversation about immigration never really divides out non-EU migrants, EU migrants and asylum seekers and each group has different effects on our country.
No-one ever really properly addressed these concerns at a national level. It was only those people we managed to talk to in our doorstep conversations that we could discuss the issues with. There was the fabulous "I am an immigrant" campaign but it felt like too little too late. These issues should have been addressed over the last 5 years.
Anyway it may seem like it's all over for now but we will fight on. I will fight on.
I did all the right things - I gave donations and committed to monthly giving towards the Labour Party General Election fund. I campaigned until it hurt. I went to all sorts of areas to campaign (Keighley, Pudsey, Bradford West, Bradford South and numerous different council wards). I delivered a small forest worth of leaflets. I put my children in full time day care and took loads of time off work to do all this.
Bradford Labour Group maintained a majority on Bradford Metropolitan District Council for the second year running, and 3 out of the 5 constituencies now have Labour MP's, so this was an achievement of sorts I guess, but those MP's should have been in government, not in the opposition.
There is nothing more that I could have done and yet I feel like I failed. I am only 1 person but the same feeling could be felt by hundreds of thousands of party activists. Collectively we achieved so much and sacrificed so much to do it. We had millions of conversations with people on the Labour Doorstep over the last 5 years and it feels like it was all for nothing.
I have seen all sorts of comments on various social media platforms ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous and although I hate that we are now stuck with a Conservative government that is democracy. Sometimes we do not get what we want or what our country desperately needs.
But, this is not a time to give up. It is time to regroup, focus on what our core principles are and keep reaching out to the people in our communities. We need to get right back to being a grass roots movement and properly connect with members, supporters and communities.
There are people who seem to think that being a member of the Labour Party means being a member of 'new Labour' which is ridiculously untrue. The Labour Party is a broad church of people from all sorts of different traditions and backgrounds. If more traditional Labour people got more involved then there would be less of the 'new' Labour people that some don't like. I'm a big believer in changing things from the inside by getting involved.
(Quick advert - if you feel inspired to join the Labour Party click here )
We achieve so much more together by our collective endeavour than we do alone. The world is so very individualist and yet the area I am proud to serve (Clayton & Fairweather Green) has amazing groups of people who work closely together, volunteering for the greater good of others and our community.
We need better political education so that our hard work as councillors (or MP's or community activists) is properly communicated and understood. There is so much we do in the background that no-one ever sees and if we never communicate it then the people we have worked hard for will never know.
I had too many conversations with people who said that they think all politicians are the same. It's a common refrain but is genuinely not true. We need to communicate why that's not true. Each person in an area needs to feel a connection with their local representatives.
Issues around immigration were also raised and it's a hard conversation to have. Not everyone who expresses their concerns about immigration is a racist and to label them as such is appalling. Most of the people I listened to on this subject were concerned that if immigrants are coming into our country for work then this reduces the number of job opportunities for our own nationals. It puts pressure on our NHS and other public services. Also even though non-UK citizens are not able to receive benefits until they have been resident here for 2 years there is a perception that immigrants are costing our country millions in benefit payments. Whereas the truth is that EU migrants are actually contributing more into our economy than they are taking out. See http://www.richardcorbett.org.uk/britons-lose-out-because-of-eu-migration/
Also while on this subject the conversation about immigration never really divides out non-EU migrants, EU migrants and asylum seekers and each group has different effects on our country.
No-one ever really properly addressed these concerns at a national level. It was only those people we managed to talk to in our doorstep conversations that we could discuss the issues with. There was the fabulous "I am an immigrant" campaign but it felt like too little too late. These issues should have been addressed over the last 5 years.
Anyway it may seem like it's all over for now but we will fight on. I will fight on.
Sunday, 23 November 2014
The importance of libraries
I've always been convinced of the value of libraries because it was through using a library that I got a real love for books and the world which opened up for me through reading. Reading became a passion for me and through it a thirst for knowledge and the joy of learning new things.
Although this is my background and everyone is different it does give me an insight into why the library bus and the local libraries run by qualified librarians are so important.
They're important for families to learn together, for children who need a safe, warm, quiet space to study and for older people to get out and enjoy a visit to the library and a friendly conversation with someone and guidance on books available or how to use the computer etc.
It's because of this and other reasons that I will always fight to defend our libraries. I could get quite militant about it in fact and chain myself to a library to defend the rights of people to continue to have access to a library.
It's also enshrined in law that we should have access to a library service - see http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1964/75
"It shall be the duty of every library authority to provide a comprehensive and efficient library service for all persons desiring to make use thereof, ." s.7(1)
This is just a brief overview on the value of libraries and there's a lot more about it on http://libraryatoz.org/index.php/importance-libraries/.
Also please have a look at this link about what a difference the mobile library bus is making in Honduras
http://vimeo.com/user24687014/httpvimeocommobilelibrary
"A young mother living on the Holme Wood estate regularly took her daughter to the library bus to borrow books as she couldn't afford to buy books other than the occasional book at Christmas or for a birthday present. Every week when she took her daughter with her to the launderette to wash clothes they would sit and wait for the machines to finish and together read through the library books. It was a tough life in those days but this young mother instilled in her daughter a love for books and lifelong learning through those times reading the books from the library bus."
Although this is my background and everyone is different it does give me an insight into why the library bus and the local libraries run by qualified librarians are so important.
They're important for families to learn together, for children who need a safe, warm, quiet space to study and for older people to get out and enjoy a visit to the library and a friendly conversation with someone and guidance on books available or how to use the computer etc.
It's because of this and other reasons that I will always fight to defend our libraries. I could get quite militant about it in fact and chain myself to a library to defend the rights of people to continue to have access to a library.
It's also enshrined in law that we should have access to a library service - see http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1964/75
"It shall be the duty of every library authority to provide a comprehensive and efficient library service for all persons desiring to make use thereof, ." s.7(1)
This is just a brief overview on the value of libraries and there's a lot more about it on http://libraryatoz.org/index.php/importance-libraries/.
Also please have a look at this link about what a difference the mobile library bus is making in Honduras
http://vimeo.com/user24687014/httpvimeocommobilelibrary
Thursday, 24 July 2014
War, what is it good for?
The answer in the song is, absolutely nothing!
I've got to say that although I tend to agree I am realistic enough to appreciate that we in the UK have a freedom that was fought for by our forefathers and that there are circumstances where sometimes it's a case of kill or be killed.
But, having said that, my abiding reaction to war, the taking of lives and destruction of communities is that it is abhorrent.
I struggle to understand why in 2014, civilisation has not yet evolved to the point where we can live harmoniously and in peace.
There are wars, conflicts, genocides, whatever label you want to give all over our world right now.
I started writing this while enjoying a leisurely breakfast with my daughter. It was an enjoyable time. Then last night I went to Bradford City Park to play with my children. We had so much fun and I got totally soaked. But, constantly in my mind and heart is the thought that while I'm going through my daily life here in the UK, there are women mourning the dead in their families and wondering how or when they'll be able to feed their children or give them a clean glass of water. The basic necessities of life are not available for so many people in these zones of conflict/war. It must be utterly terrifying. There are women on both sides who care deeply and want an end to the terrible killing. Each and every death is a tragedy.
Where is our humanity?
I mean seriously what is it in us which prevents us from living harmoniously and in peace.
I genuinely don't think I have ever prayed so much, so fervently and consistently for worldwide PEACE.
I have seen and read an awful lot about the horror of what's going on in Gaza, a little less on Syria and Ukraine and almost nothing lately on Iraq and still rather than condemning ALL violence against humanity and advocating for Peace, I see many people taking sides and suggestions made about fighting back. I can understand this but taking up arms each time results in more dead. As Ghandi more eloquently put it: An eye for an eye means we all end up blind.
So although, I may be at risk of people not understanding why I'm for Peace I truly believe it is what this world needs. Who's with me?
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
Nanny Esther
Feeling so so sad. An amazing girl, incredible woman of God and fantastic childcarer is leaving me.
This last year, it's felt as if she is part of the family but now she's going. I am so gutted. However, it's important to release her well and with love so that she can continue being a blessing but to many more children than just my 3. I had tears in my eyes today when I received and reluctantly accepted her notice.
I truly wish her well.
This last year has totally whizzed by and she has put up with such a lot.
She's helped #LaraGulp with her homework and taken her to after school clubs and dancing lessons and listened to her constant chatter.
She's encouraged my gorgeous shy, sensitive little #SophieGulp to talk and be more interactive and responsive. She's dealt with potty training issues etc too - bless her.
She's helped #RebeccaGulp develop and has patiently fed her despite major eating disorders. She's taken her to development groups, learned signing and loved her.
In fact, I feel as if she's loved all of my children.
She's done parties with them and picnics and all sorts of adventures. She's prayed with them and for them and we've prayed for her. The children are always happy and excited to tell her about things and include her in their lives.
My #LaraGulp was my most incredible amazing and precious gift from God when she was born and not once during her 6 years of life had I ever felt such peace about leaving her to be cared for by anyone until Nanny Esther came into our world.
Nanny Esther has been an unbelievable blessing to our family and an answer to prayer but I'm crying as I write this. I hope she feels released in love and blessed by us too.
(Note: we do have a fabulous new childcarer lined up who will hopefully be able to start so that the transition will be seamless but this post is all about the incredibly fabulous woman who is Nanny Esther)
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