The importance of libraries

I've always been convinced of the value of libraries because it was through using a library that I got a real love for books and the world which opened up for me through reading. Reading became a passion for me and through it a thirst for knowledge and the joy of learning new things.

"A young mother living on the Holme Wood estate regularly took her daughter to the library bus to borrow books as she couldn't afford to buy books other than the occasional book at Christmas or for a birthday present. Every week when she took her daughter with her to the launderette to wash clothes they would sit and wait for the machines to finish and together read through the library books. It was a tough life in those days but this young mother instilled in her daughter a love for books and lifelong learning through those times reading the books from the library bus."

Although this is my background and everyone is different it does give me an insight into why the library bus and the local libraries run by qualified librarians are so important.

They're important for families to learn together, for children who need a safe, warm, quiet space to study and for older people to get out and enjoy a visit to the library and a friendly conversation with someone and guidance on books available or how to use the computer etc.

It's because of this and other reasons that I will always fight to defend our libraries. I could get quite militant about it in fact and chain myself to a library to defend the rights of people to continue to have access to a library. 

It's also enshrined in law that we should have access to a library service - see http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1964/75

"It shall be the duty of every library authority to provide a comprehensive and efficient library service for all persons desiring to make use thereof, ." s.7(1)

This is just a brief overview on the value of libraries and there's a lot more about it on http://libraryatoz.org/index.php/importance-libraries/. 

Also please have a look at this link about what a difference the mobile library bus is making in Honduras 

http://vimeo.com/user24687014/httpvimeocommobilelibrary

War, what is it good for?

The answer in the song is, absolutely nothing!

I've got to say that although I tend to agree I am realistic enough to appreciate that we in the UK have a freedom that was fought for by our forefathers and that there are circumstances where sometimes it's a case of kill or be killed.

But, having said that, my abiding reaction to war, the taking of lives and destruction of communities is that it is abhorrent.

I struggle to understand why in 2014, civilisation has not yet evolved to the point where we can live harmoniously and in peace.

There are wars, conflicts, genocides, whatever label you want to give all over our world right now.

I started writing this while enjoying a leisurely breakfast with my daughter. It was an enjoyable time. Then last night I went to Bradford City Park to play with my children. We had so much fun and I got totally soaked. But, constantly in my mind and heart is the thought that while I'm going through my daily life here in the UK, there are women mourning the dead in their families and wondering how or when they'll be able to feed their children or give them a clean glass of water. The basic necessities of life are not available for so many people in these zones of conflict/war. It must be utterly terrifying. There are women on both sides who care deeply and want an end to the terrible killing. Each and every death is a tragedy.

Where is our humanity?

I mean seriously what is it in us which prevents us from living harmoniously and in peace.

I genuinely don't think I have ever prayed so much, so fervently and consistently for worldwide PEACE.

I have seen and read an awful lot about the horror of what's going on in Gaza, a little less on Syria and Ukraine and almost nothing lately on Iraq and still rather than condemning ALL violence against humanity and advocating for Peace, I see many people taking sides and suggestions made about fighting back. I can understand this but taking up arms each time results in more dead. As Ghandi more eloquently put it: An eye for an eye means we all end up blind.

So although, I may be at risk of people not understanding why I'm for Peace I truly believe it is what this world needs. Who's with me?

Nanny Esther

Feeling so so sad. An amazing girl, incredible woman of God and fantastic childcarer is leaving me.

This last year, it's felt as if she is part of the family but now she's going. I am so gutted. However, it's important to release her well and with love so that she can continue being a blessing but to many more children than just my 3. I had tears in my eyes today when I received and reluctantly accepted her notice.

I truly wish her well.

This last year has totally whizzed by and she has put up with such a lot.
She's helped #LaraGulp with her homework and taken her to after school clubs and dancing lessons and listened to her constant chatter.

She's encouraged my gorgeous shy, sensitive little #SophieGulp to talk and be more interactive and responsive. She's dealt with potty training issues etc too - bless her.

She's helped #RebeccaGulp develop and has patiently fed her despite major eating disorders. She's taken her to development groups, learned signing and loved her.
In fact, I feel as if she's loved all of my children.

She's done parties with them and picnics and all sorts of adventures. She's prayed with them and for them and we've prayed for her. The children are always happy and excited to tell her about things and include her in their lives.

My #LaraGulp was my most incredible amazing and precious gift from God when she was born and not once during her 6 years of life had I ever felt such peace about leaving her to be cared for by anyone until Nanny Esther came into our world.

Nanny Esther has been an unbelievable blessing to our family and an answer to prayer but I'm crying as I write this. I hope she feels released in love and blessed by us too.

(Note: we do have a fabulous new childcarer lined up who will hopefully be able to start so that the transition will be seamless but this post is all about the incredibly fabulous woman who is Nanny Esther)

Why am I a Politician?

That should be an easy question to answer but it's actually not that easy to convey the multitude of factors that contributed towards me seeking election as a local councillor.

I have always been interested in social justice but not so much politics and never imagined that little old me could make a difference. I was always passionate about movies and wrote a dissertation on the British Film Industry while I was at College. I'll never forget the feedback I got from a senior lecturer - she said, "You will never change the world so don't bother trying." Well this was like a red rag to a bull for me. If someone tells me I can't do something I will fight hard to prove that I can.

On several occasions I heard speakers talk about being the person who makes a difference and standing up and being counted and it stirred in me a burning desire to do whatever I can to help others.

My son (Joshua) died in 2006 and since that point I have wanted to make my life count for something far bigger than myself.

So, in 2010, on the day that Gordon Brown left Number 10 and he said, "it is by the strength of our common endeavour that we achieve more than we do alone",  I joined the Labour party with tears streaming down my face. I knew that the country was going to suffer under the Conservative led government and that we all had a part to play to create an environment where the people of the Bradford District that I love so much would be able to survive the government and hopefully still flourish. Here's a link to my first post about joining the Labour party http://isthisasmileoragrimace.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/politics-and-me.html

Bradford District has not benefited from the inward investment and vision of other cities and Districts nearby but what we have got are amazing people drawn from an amazingly wide range of backgrounds. There are many strengths in our District if we have the vision and the desire to work together to utilise these strengths. There are also many challenges which I won't gloss over but I truly believe that we can make life better at an individual and a District wide level.

Each time, I help an individual with some casework that matters deeply to them, I know that it isn't going to make waves or headlines but I don't care about that because all that really matters is that it will help that person.
Each time I go to a school governors meeting or go and hear a young person read or talk about the work they are doing in school, it's not going to get me a vote but it may help that young person to achieve a renewed sense of achievement or confidence in their abilities.
Each time I go to a council meeting or committee meeting and raise issues that are of concern to the people in the District and in my ward, I am helping to give them a voice.

It's not easy though - there's a lot of sacrifices to make in terms of personal time and finances too. If I put all of this effort into a business, I'm sure I could make a heck of a lot of money but I honestly don't care about the money (or lack thereof). It would be nice to have a little more sleep but since I was elected I feel like I am constantly thinking about what I can do to contribute more to the betterment of our District and to create more opportunities for all people while also concerning myself about how we as a community look after our most vulnerable citizens.

Politics is something that has the potential to be brilliant if everyone involved in it gives their all to serve the community. It is my hope that when I am no longer involved in politics, whether people remember me or not, that I will have left a legacy that benefits other people for many years after I have gone.

Using Others or Saying Thank You

Life is sometimes a bit of a minefield especially where relationships with others are concerned.

There are often situations where one person needs the help of another and the other gladly gives their help. However, if the person who needs the help does not treat the other person with kindness, respect and gratitude then they can be left feeling used. 

The person who feels used then has a natural reaction to this which often starts with anger, disappointment and regret at having put themselves in that position and sadly then tells others of the situation so that it has an effect on others perceptions.

So, isn't it so much better to just be a decent human being in the first place, and treat others with kindness, love and respect. Then if you need some help at a season in your life, you can ask people for their help and then say thank you afterwards. Perhaps you could then offer your help to others also. Mutual help, respect and appreciation just makes the world a nicer place to be in.

I found out recently that I had been used by someone and thankfully there is enough distance to allow me to not get bitter about it but to just move on in grace and dignity and just remember not to put myself in that situation again. Sometimes, you've just got to chalk this stuff up to experience and still be the generous, caring, helpful person you always have been but with a more cautious and thoughtful attitude.

Here's a song from the show Nashville called Used, although it's about a girl who stupidly allowed herself to get used by a guy.

http://youtu.be/cdIeoqO7jgA

The Queen's Royal Garden Party

Well, Lara Gulp reminded me today that when she was 5 we all went to London to see the Queen.

It was almost a year ago now and was the last trip away that we had as a family prior to my returning to work after maternity leave. We had so much fun but the central reason for the trip was that I'd been given an invitation to the Queen's Garden Party.

It still blows my mind to think of it. I mean I was born and brought up on a Bradford council estate and it's just not something that you ever imagine happening.

I wanted to do Bradford proud by looking my best so I had a dress made me for me. It was just a cream cotton summer dress with a full skirt, from a 1950's style Vogue pattern, with red polka dots. I wore it with a pair of beige court shoes, a red hat and red soft jacket.

The day was unbelievably hot and as we were staying in Central London, near Broadcasting House in Great Portland Street, I decided to get a bus to the Palace so that I could stand and not wrinkle my dress:)

The other guests from Bradford were my ward colleague and the Lord Mayor and his daughter. We met up and had such an absolute blast, enjoying the most amazing finger sandwiches, pastries and tea. We then had a lovely walk in the grounds enjoying the heat of the day and the incredible sights, scents and colours of one of the most incredible gardens I had ever been in. We also took plenty of photographs of our day.

When we lined up for the entrance of the Royal party there was such an incredible air of anticipation that it was almost tangible and all that was running through my head was that I was about to be in the presence of Majesty, the highest citizen in the land. It felt amazing but didn't faze me at all. I also wondered what Oma (my grandmother would have thought). She was Canadian and a complete royalist so would totally have got a blast out of it.

There was a certain amount of jostling but at the sound of the trumpets announcing the Queen's arrival, a stillness descended. The Queen made her away along the line and stopped to speak briefly with selected people, Olympic athletes, charity workers and public servants of one sort or another and was for quite a while stood right in front of me at only slightly over 1 1/2 arms length or so.

I was struck by a couple of things, one was her height as she was so much smaller than I had expected her to be and the other was her incredible teeth. (Just as an aside, one of many things that I have been trying to do since I entered politics is to get improved oral health and access to dentists for all the people of the Bradford District. I've been banging on about it for 2 years but getting what I believe Bradford District needs is like pushing water uphill but I shall carry on working on this.) Believe it or not this thought about Bradford's oral health and access to dentists was in my mind as I looked upon the Queen and her immaculately straight, white teeth.

The Queen then went into the Royal tea tent while we enjoyed the afternoon and the pleasant atmosphere. We were served copious amounts of cold drinks as desired, and because it really was a perfect hot English summer day we were also served ice cream.

We all queued up again as the Royal party left and this time I found myself right at the very front.

The best part of the day was just the beautifully relaxed and dare I say, chilled out atmosphere. I've been to many events through work etc where there are many people who can be rather full of their own self importance, and seeking to ensure that others are under no illusion of what "their place" is and I almost anticipated that the Royal Garden party would be quite like that. Whereas, it was in fact, the total opposite.

We had a really grand day out at Buckingham Palace as guests of HM Queen Elizabeth and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon tea with friends.

Releasing Each Other

Last December, I was sat having coffee with a couple of other girls from work and we got onto the subject of marriage.

It was an incredible conversation and really refreshing. We'd each been married for around 5-9 years so during this time we had learned some stuff.

There are times within a marriage relationship when we really feel ourselves calling out to God for strength and I'm sure the guys feel the same way.

But, despite it all, I am so thankful that I married well. Being friends, and trying to make the time to just chill out and be friends is so important.

My husband is going away for a few days to serve a few thousand women who are all descending on Leeds for the Cherish women's conference. I'm going to miss him but I'm so glad that he's a gifted sound engineer, hard working roadie, and a tecky computer geek. I'm glad that he uses those gifts to serve others and releases me to serve others in my way too.

I hope he has a great time and enjoys time with his mates on the technical crew but I also hope that he looks forward to spending time with me when he gets back.

The Bucket List

There are so many things in life that I want to do and sadly, I put many of those things off thinking that they'd be great to do when I met Mr Right. However, when Mr Right turns up life gets busy and children land in your life which changes the priorities around a fair bit.

But, I still have those things I want to do and places I want to experience (not just visit) so in the spirit of the movie, The Bucket List, I thought I'd write them down and see how far I get.

1. I want to see real jewels - emeralds, diamonds, rubies, sapphires, pearls etc etc
I saw the Crown jewels in 2012 which were pretty impressive but I'd like to touch, not just look.

2. I want to climb a mountain - preferably something like Kili rather than Everest.

3. I want to go backpacking around India, spend time in Goa, Simla, Mumbai, Delhi and see the Taj Mahal and the Golden Temple in Amritsar,  and also visit the place my Mum was born in Pakistan.

4. Spend time on a Kibbutz in Israel

5. Eat pizza, drink wine and eat gelato in Italy. I want to see incredible art and visit Pisa, Rome, Florence and Venice.

6. I want to dig wells in Africa or at the very least be part of a Habitat for Humanity building project.

7. I want to get a motorbike licence and trek around South America in a Che Guevara Motorcycle Diaries style way and walk the Inca Trail in Peru up to Macchu Picchu.

8. I'd like to actually finish one of the books I've started writing and get it published.

9. I really want to build a prosperous District and be part of something far bigger than myself which will have a lasting, positive impact. I want to leave something behind which will be a great legacy.

10. I want to go horse riding again, in the surf. I did it in Cuba and it was amazing.

So technically, I've already done 1 (seen jewels but not touched) and 10 (ridden through the surf in Cuba) but there's no reason why I couldn't do them again to the next level. And I'm working on 9 and 5 but 9 is taking most of my time currently so I may have to delay some of the others a bit. But, it's interesting that once goals are written they become part of a plan and will happen so I'm looking forward to ticking these off eventually.

Remembering Baby Gulp

It's a weird feeling today. I've got a whole day (the first in months) to spend with my family because the elections are over. I'm really looking forward to it.

But, it's also in my mind that 8 years ago yesterday my heart broke. I found out that my first baby who was due on May 27th 2006, had died in utero i. e. the baby's heart had stopped beating.

He was born 8 years ago tomorrow - May 25th, which is also my step-dads birthday and my Oma's birthday.

I cried every day and every night. I sobbed in church. I stayed in the house mainly because when I left the house people would ask when the baby is due. It was a horrible time. I scribbled in my journal furiously to try and download some of the emotions of anger, pain, grief, loss and finally acceptance.

I still miss my little son, like nothing else and I still feel his loss. But, I have been amazingly blessed by my church family, friends and Almighty God. He blessed me with more children. Two more heavenly babies but then my gorgeous, beautiful, funny Lara Anjali came into the world in 2008. She is such a joy to my world. I count my blessings and thank God for her often.

Before she came I used to sing a worship song called Forever Faithful written by Lara Martin which says, "Some things in life that happen, I'll never understand but I have this assurance, my life is in your hands, so I will praise you in every season of life. I choose to praise..." and I just kept on praising and honouring Almighty God.

I now get to sing that very same song with my little Lara and the feeling is intense. I praised God right through the pain and loss and have been immeasurably blessed.

She knows that she is God's gift to me and that she made us happy when she was born.

I thought life was complete with her but then in 2011, the incredibly comical, sensitive, kind and cute, Sophie Grace was born.

Then in 2013 we were blessed with Rebecca Abigail Jesse who came with a couple of extra challenges but nothing we can't handle.

I should focus on those wonderful blessings and not on my loss but a mothers heart always has room for all her children and Joshua James has never left my heart.

Local Election 2014 aka Election Fever

Hopefully you won't have failed to notice that the whole of Europe is going to the polls on Thursday 22 May, and in most of the UK ( I believe) there are Local Council elections.

It's only 2 years since I was elected and although my agent (who was and is, utterly superb) made me work hard especially as it was the first time I'd stood for election, I didn't actually know how hard I'd have to work once I got elected.

So, I've already got my plate full so to speak,
- working hard at my day job, which as a debt caseworker is intense but I love it,
- working hard to be a wonderful wife to my longsuffering and brilliant husband and
- working hard to look after my 3 gorgeous girls, aged 6, 3 and 1, and
- working hard to keep up with casework for residents of the ward I represent,
- keeping up to date with reading reports and papers for committees, I'm on so that I can effectively represent all residents across the BMDC district etc etc

But then a colleague who is up for election asks if I'll be her agent. I ask what's involved and get told oh not much just signing the papers and filling in the election expenses forms at the end of the election. I think, well I'm not sure as I don't think I've got the time to commit to it etc but check with the guy who was my agent.

Just as an aside, this would have been the moment where I wish the guy who was my agent in 2012 had said "Well, while you were swanning around the ward, meeting residents and listening to their concerns, even though I made everything look effortless, I was working like a dog behind the scenes!"
That is what, for most of this campaign, I wished he'd said. But no, he's like yeah fine.

So, I go headlong into this thing, with helping to write the ward spring newsletter and worrying about how to afford getting it printed and delivered before the election expenses started (back at the beginning of April). We then have loads of letters to write, prepare and deliver for people who are postal voters. The election leaflet itself and out cards for posting through peoples doors if they're out when we call round.
I've got to be honest, it has been hard work and I've not spent a whole day with my family in weeks. We usually like to keep Saturdays as family days, aside from my Councillor surgeries and meetings and events in the ward that is.

But, yesterday, 2 days out from Polling Day itself, I think election fever took hold. I wished, we could have another few weeks of it as I finally feel like I've got into the flow and rhythm and almost know what I'm doing.

Tomorrow is polling day, and I've worked hard across a number of wards to ensure that the people of our brilliant Bradford District will continue to be served by Labour party councillors:
- who put serving their communities first,
- working hard to bring prosperity to our District in spite of savage cuts (1/3) to the budget we get from the Government),
- ensuring that we increase recycling to keep down costs of waste going to landfill, especially as landfill costs including tax continues to be raised by the Govt,
- working hard with Health colleagues to get debt advisors in doctors surgeries because of the impact of such things as bedroom tax and work capability and DLA assessments on residents,
- working hard to reduce health inequalities across the District,
- working to improve all schools across the District so that our children and young people can attend good and outstanding schools and get the very best start in life,
- investing in improving skills and delivering on the Get Bradford Working programme so that young people and long term unemployed can get the help and support they need to get into work,
And so much more. That's the trouble with lists, I'm bound to leave out a lot because there is so much work to do and so much work being done by hardworking Labour councillors.

So, in short, elections are hard work but I've only done it because I want the very best for the residents of this wonderful District where I was born, where I live and where I'm raising my family.

#VoteLabour
#UseYourVote

School Readiness

School readiness is one of those terms which gets bandied about in the context of improving outcomes in early years. So if we can get children ready to start school so that they're already able to understand and follow instructions etc then they'll be in a better position to learn etc. There's a lot more to it than this brief summary and it all sounds good in theory.

But....

My baby, has a place to start at the school nursery in 2 weeks, straight after the Easter holidays. I'm so not ready for this. She's my baby. She's only 3 years old and when she was at daycare between the ages of 1 and 2 she would just sit quietly all day and not speak a word to anyone. She's very sensitive. Plus I feel as if this 3 years that I've had with her has just gone too fast.

We never got to do things together in the same way that I did things with my 5 year old. We never got the opportunity to do baby massage or Socatots.

I don't feel as if I know her very well. There's a form to complete for the school which asks a range of questions so that the teachers will know a bit about her but while going through it I realised I didn't know whether she likes milk or what her other likes and dislikes are.

When she was 9 months old I had to go to work to keep the roof over our head. It was out of necessity and not choice. When she was 16 months old I was elected to be a Councillor which keeps me very busy and when she was 20 months old her youngest sister was born with health needs so this really impacted upon Sophie. I hate that she's the middle child and that other things get in the way.

To try and deal with my lack of emotional readiness for Sophie starting nursery school, I've organised her school uniform and ordered some name labels. I still need to sort out getting her some little school shoes and her own school bag. But, I can just imagine me being a basket case on her first day when I have to leave her all dressed up in her uniform.

I hate that she'll be lonely and quiet in the midst of a class of 30 children.

She's such a beautiful little girl, she's incredibly funny and expressive but also very sensitive. She's very spiritual too. She loves to pray and look at her picture Bible. She once told me that Jesus is her rock! We've no idea where she got this from.

She gets dominated a lot by her big sister and loses out a lot of attention to her little sister.

Three years goes by so fast so I guess it just reminds me yet again to make the absolute most out of every moment. It's the little things which are special. I remember taking her with me to buy things in preparation for her 3rd birthday party and as we walked back home, she said "Oh Mummy, today is such a happy day" which totally melted my heart.

Oh well, tempus fugit. She's probably far more ready for school than I am and will probably settle really well.

Everyday's a Classroom

Over the last couple of years, basically since I was elected as a councillor, I have learned so much and yet still, every day is a class room.

People often describe learning new things as being  on a learning curve

e.g.




However, my experience of the last two years has not been as gradual as this. It's been a far steeper, in at the deep end kind of thing e.g.





Quite honestly, I wonder what on earth possesses anyone to want to fight an election, busting their guts to get people to vote for them. There are local and European elections coming up on May 22nd so the campaigning season will shortly be upon us.

Politics is a tough job, and if you're going to do it excellently, it takes over your life and family. You need to learn a lot about a very wide range of issues so that you can help your constituents to the very best of your ability.

I've been learning so much, both from my own experience and from the wisdom of other, more experienced councillors, who are also incredibly passionate about serving the people of this District.

To me politics is about the simple straightforward things, you know like representing people so that you can help to make their lives a little better and help them deal with specific issues that may be getting in the way of that.

Just casting my mind back over the last couple of months I've dealt with issues to do with: allotments, highways, council tax, benefits, food banks, boundary fencing, anti-social behaviour, dog fouling, fly tipping, littering, education, health care, play, planning issues and probably a lot more that I can't just call to mind so quickly.

But we all know that there's a lot more to it than that. I am rapidly coming to the realisation that while I still have a heck of a lot to learn and a lot to do, it is all worth it. There's more criticism than thanks but I will keep on going to serve the people within this district which I love.

Motivation - Why Do We Do What We Do

I've been wondering why we do what we do, i.e. what is the motivation for what we do.

It all started when I asked someone if they could do something for me. They agreed and so, as is my nature, I responded with enthusiastic gratitude. Admittedly it was probably a tad over the top but you know that's me. Unfortunately, this did not appear to be well received and it made me question myself.

Should I change who I am and tone down my enthusiasm and positivity?
Should I not take the trouble to thank people when I'm genuinely grateful for their help?
Should I start being more cynical about other people?

Having mulled it over a little, I think not. I may now be a "politician" (still makes me chuckle, I mean, me, seriously?!), but I'm still determined to be me.
For the most part, I'm friendly, kind, generous, loving, compassionate, enthusiastic, hard working, caring, genuine, loyal, faithful, thankful and passionate about serving others to the best of my ability. I'm saying these things about myself admittedly but they have also come from the perception of others.

Just to be even handed I am also very impulsive, impatient, loud, over dramatic and have a tendency to be a bit giddy but that's me. Oh and probably my biggest fault is believing that I can change the world and assuming that everyone else cares as much as I do!

I will not compromise on who I am, so if people have a problem with that then ... whatever!

In the meantime why do I get involved in some things? Generally, I get involved because something touches my heart. Someone may tell me an anecdote about what they do which just gets me and then I will do all I can to help.

I go to work initially because I need the money and I have bills to pay but it goes deeper than that. I love my job because I get to be a part of something massive that helps 1,000's of people. There's passion, faith and belief there.

I am aware, however, that there are some people around who do things with less than pure motives and I just hope that even though I'm in politics, I'll stay true to who I am and to my principles.

Thank you for reading - you're fabulous!

There are no atheists in a trench

I was recently asked why I go to Church. I was on the spot and I found it hard to answer honestly.

We were having a conversation about weighty matters but it wasn't the time or place to really go into detail and I felt as if I'd given an evasive answer.

I think if the question had been asked about why I go to Church years ago, it would have been easier to answer. But since my youngest daughter was born 18 months ago with Down Syndrome, I've got to admit that I have felt so battered and bruised, that I find it hard to answer.

I often go now because it's part of our family routine but getting us all ready and out of the door and to church on time is stressful.
I go because I am accepted for who I am.
I go because I am a part of an incredible family and when one of us is hurting or going through a tough time, we help one another.
I go because when I went through dreadful things in my life, people were there to lift me up.
I go because I can contribute and help others.
I go because my eldest daughter loves to go and be in a worship environment and sing praises to our God.

But most of all I think, I go because there is tremendous power in all of us joining together to love our God, serve his people in our cities and be the best that we can be. The power of love of our God for his people, of us for our God and the sacrifice of Jesus for each of us is tremendous.

It still sounds like a woolly answer but below I've posted a link to a video of our church in Bradford. (We also have churches in Belfast and Leeds too).

This video was taken from a programme which aired in the USA when our pastor Charlotte Gambill was speaking about our church. It's powerful and makes me cry because my eldest daughter is on it. I, and the people who've known me a long time, know what my husband and I have been through and how powerful it is to show that we made it through and we're raising our family in an incredible environment of faith, hope and love.

I hope the link works.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn5VOjF9V_I

For This Cause or Thank You For The Music

I've been feeling a bit further away from God than I should be and while the rest of Life Church is focusing on Heart and Soul, I've been feeling out of it. A bit disconnected.

There's nothing specific I can put my finger on. But there's a range of things including the busy ness of life, some narrow minded attitudes I've come across in others and the draining nature of all the medical appointments I have to attend with baby Rebecca.

A day or two ago I saw singer Natalie Grants  facebook status that she'd attended the Grammy Awards. She didn't say anything nasty or preachy against what she saw in the show but just shared how proud she was to sing for Jesus.

I totally respect this.

It made me feel like getting back to my first love. So this morning, while doing my best to get Rebecca to eat without refluxing and stressing about it, I put the golden oldie Hillsong CD For This Cause on to listen to. It's just beautiful and always helps me focus on the one true God.

There's a truly amazing, loving God who just desires that we know him and know how deeply we are loved and cared for.

Feeling so grateful to the great people of God who know and share this.

So, thank you for the music.