Finding a Leader I Can Believe In

Following my disheartening experience attending the Ed Miliband event in Leeds, I eventually managed to get the opportunity to attend the Labour Leadership hustings in Leeds on Sunday 25 July. I had hoped to get to hear each of the 5 candidates speak before I made up my mind so was very excited to be able to attend. I also got a work colleague to come with me too which was fun. I'm still hoping that she will join the Labour Party especially as being under 27, she can join for a £1 and for anyone who joins prior to 1 September there is the opportunity to vote in the Leadership election https://secure2.labour.org.uk/join/

This time I was determined to sit as near to the front as possible so that I could 'eyeball' each candidate as they answered the questions put to them.

My impressions of each candidate were as follows:

David Miliband - scarily too like Tony Blair and very much a 'politician' i.e. I didn't feel that I could relate to him and I felt that he didn't really answer the questions as directly as I would have liked. He also didn't seem to be all that passionate about it. Furthermore, he disappeared within seconds of the end of the hustings which I felt was rather rude. To give him his due, he may have had a train to catch to return to London, but surely these events are about meeting people and listening to them too, so his travel arrangements should have been made to allow for some time with the people attending the hustings. By leaving immediately it made him appear aloof and disinterested in people that he is supposedly seeking to serve.
I won't be voting for him!

Ed Miliband - well, he didn't say anything or present himself in anyway that altered my perception of him from that which I gained at the event I attended in June. So again I just felt that he was A.N.Other Politician and like David, he didn't hand around at all at the end of the hustings.
I won't be voting for him!

Ed Balls - I really like this guy mainly because he really is standing up for the jobs of construction workers and the investment in school buildings as part of the Building Schools For The Future programme which Michael Gove is trying to completely do away with in the areas where it's most needed. Also, following him on twitter has given me an insight into how hard he works. He is always busy doing something, whether that's helping with the GE2010 election campaign, or being on the streets in his own constituency or defending the pilot scheme which was supposed to be starting this September for Free School Lunches for children in deprived areas, of which Bradford was one, as well as being a father to young children. He was also really friendly, smiley and personable and smiled over at me at the end of the hustings and shook my hand. That personal touch goes a long way. Although I wouldn't give him my 1st preference vote as leader because I would prefer him to stay as a major cabinet member, he will get my 2nd preference vote. I believe that the party needs a fighter especially during this season of being in opposition.

Andy Burnham - Oh my goodness this guy was absolutely amazing. He was exactly who I was looking for. A down to earth man who answered each question directly which in itself was refreshing but he was also incredibly passionate and inspiring. He was the kind of man that I thought would really relate to the majority of the general public and hopefully get Labour back into government. Not only did he answer the questions put to him but he also had great ideas about how he would deal with various issues. As the hustings closed I knew that here was a man who was passionate, inspiring and the real deal. I walked up to him to shake his hand and thank him (unfortunately interrupting him) but he was so gracious and humble and really came across as a genuinely, kind and caring person. Quite honestly, I've always been disillusioned by politics and politicians but Andy Burnham could just be the one who will help to encourage and motivate many people to restore their faith in politics and to engage in local and national politics.
He will definitely get my 1st preference vote.

Diane Abbott - hmmm It's so hard to find anything positive to say and I'd rather not be unkind so I'll just say that I won't be voting for her but I'm glad that Hackney has an MP who is committed.

Whoever wins the leadership election (and I desperately hope that it will be Andy Burnham) they will have a tough job on their hands to represent the people who have elected them in their constituencies, represent the very vastly different people who together form the Labour Party and re-position the party to make it a viable option for the electorate to vote in Labour as the next government of the United Kingdom.

And finally here's a fun pic of my favourite two politicians dating from 2008

First Contact – Attending an Ed Miliband event

Just another post about my continuing involvement with politics...Well on Thursday 10^th June I attended my first ever Labour event where Ed Miliband was speaking about his bid to be Labour leader. I went feeling ready to be inspired and I really wanted to like him but now feel a bit flat.

Having said that though there were glimmers of hope which I'll write about below.

I arrived at 4.45pm in readiness for the event starting at 5pm. I handed in my ticket but wasn't really greeted by anyone. I guess maybe I have higher expectations, in that when someone, a group or whatever is hosting an event, they would have greeters to welcome people and perhaps guide them to their seats. I was amazed by how many people were already there but although there may still have been vacant seats nearer the front, I was a bit concerned in case they were reserved for the 'great and the good'. So I hung at the back near some other people and enquired with someone standing around whether it would be okay for me to just help myself to a chair from a pile at the side of the room. He said he thought that would be okay and courteously helped me with the chair, placing it at the back next to 3 other people.

The woman to my left immediately struck up a conversation with me saying that she was glad I was sat next to them as another woman (possibly one of the organisers) had kept trying to gather up all the chairs and have people standing instead, which I thought was rather odd. The Friendly woman then proceeded to ask me a bit about myself, where I was from and if I was a member of the Labour party etc. I explained that I felt that I as a bit of a fraud as although I was a member of the party, I had only joined a month ago and I was from Bradford, not Leeds. She said that was fine and she was glad I was there. She asked me if I had any questions for Ed Miliband to which I explained that one of my most pressing questions is:

Most of the contenders for the Labour leadership are career politicians including him, which in and of itself may not be a problem but how's he going to identify with and manage to engage and inspire the 'normal' man or woman and potential voters such as myself. For instance I, by necessity have to work full-time just to pay for childcare, mortgage, gas, electric, water and council tax and we have no spare income, in fact we struggle to make ends meet. How is he going to encourage and inspire people like me to get involved when we are from such drastically different worlds.

The Friendly woman then said that she had been a branch secretary in the Labour party for many years and advised me to definitely go ahead and ask my question but to keep it succinct but feel free to include a bit about myself as an ordinary voter to paint that picture for him.

Just then Ed Miliband arrived and walked to the front of the room while Hillary Benn (MP for Leeds Central) introduced him. I totally loved Hillary Benn, he is either a brilliant politician or he really is genuinely a sincere and caring man because that is definitely how he came across even in the few minutes of introducing Ed and explaining why he was supporting his bid to be the next Labour leader.

The next person who got up was Rachel Reeves (MP for Leeds West) and she basically reiterated what Hillary Benn had said which then came across as being a bit cheesy and it gave the impression of being a bit of an Ed Miliband fan club.

Finally Ed got up to applause, and gave a short speech about why he got involved in politics and why he wanted to be the next leader. On occasions in the speech, I found myself nodding in agreement with him. For instance, when he said, “We won't win if we don't inspire” and when he referred to why he wants to close the gap between rich and poor which matters “because often the fruits of an unequal society have nothing to do with how hard you worked” and how we need the High Pay Commission not to limit itself to looking at the public sector but the private sector also.

I think those are both basic thoughts that I for one couldn't help but agree with.

The speech then ended and there was a Q&A session. I immediately put my hand up to ask my question and was again encouraged by the Friendly woman's nudging. Rachel Reeves was the one responsible for picking on who got to ask the questions and although there seemed to be a lot of different people asking questions there were a large percentage of people that she picked on who she clearly knew such as “Tony from the GMB union” or “Councillor such and such” etc etc which is fair enough I guess but if it was supposed to be an open access event it didn't come across that way. The Friendly woman next to me (who remember was a branch secretary) got to ask two questions although admittedly they were both related and were about the issue of the Living Wage campaign which Ed has put his support to.

But there were several people including me who had kept patiently putting their hands up to try and get the opportunity to ask a question who unfortunately were not called upon to ask our questions. I guess that's fair enough as there were a lot of people there but I felt that Rachel Reeves could have managed the questioning a little bit better so that she didn't come across as just wanting to pick the people that she knew or wanted to be seen to know. I really got the impression that she is just someone who is a politician first ad cares about people second. That may be a little unfair but it was my perception.

I would have thought that it may have been better at the commencement of the evening if we could have submitted written questions so that perhaps questions falling under similar broad headings could all have been dealt with.

Some of the questions were really good and I felt that Ed answered them competently although some of his answers made me realise that politicians really do speak a different language.

His summing up was almost brilliant and I appreciated that his answers to some questions such as “Could you live on the proposed Living Wage of £7.60 an hour?” were answered honestly.

But having said that, this whole event has opened my eyes to some of the realities of politics and I felt very deflated on Friday. I had gone wanting to be inspired by a leader with a real down to earth touch who wasn't so obviously part of the 'political class' i.e. so far removed from the majority of ordinary hard-working people. I felt down I guess because I had really wanted to believe in Ed Miliband but I think I was expecting someone to inspire me in a similar way to the way my church pastor inspires me. He's a man with unbelievably humble beginnings (from Chickenley in Dewsbury) who has the ability to talk to people at all levels of the socio-economic spectrum with a sense of understanding and with the ability to encourage all of us to rise above our humble beginnings to do whatever is in our hearts to do. He encourages us to soar with our strengths and to dream big.

Maybe I've been spoilt by having such a great pastor but I feel sure that the right leader for the Labour party is out there somewhere and I look forward to hopefully getting the chance to attend a leadership hustings so I can hear all of the leadership candidates speak and share their vision for the party and for our great country.

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Politics and me

On Tuesday 11 May I joined the Labour Party. I was more than a little surprised as for many years I have never been bothered with politics and I, along with many of my generation, was quite apathetic regarding politics. You see I was still a little girl when Margaret Thatcher's Conservative government came into power and the Tories were all I knew well into my adulthood. Although my childhood was okay my memories of the time tend to focus on never having enough and just 'making do'. I specifically remember The Falklands War – what a terrible waste of lives, and The Miners Strikes – which damaged so many communities. I really didn't understand much, if anything about what was happening as like I said I was only little but I knew that something wasn't right and that life should not be like this.

One of the funny things about Thatcher being Prime Minister was that I had come to take for granted that the Prime Minister of our country was female so much so, that the first time I heard a BBC newsreader refer to the Prime Minister as 'he' after John Major took power, I was totally shocked. I don't think I shall ever forget that moment.

While I was at university I was surrounded by lot of 'political types' but thought they were all fanatical lefties and had little to say that was of relevance to what life is really like for most people in our great country.
However, I was always concerned about our society, having been instructed by my maternal grandmother who was probably the kindest person I have ever known and who was a massive influence on my life. So, I got heavily involved with charity work and really had my eyes opened to what life is like and how politics per se is not the answer.

But then I also think that historically massive political changes have been made by people getting involved or being roused into getting involved by visionary leaders. People such as Martin Luther King.

The words “I have a dream” uttered by Martin Luther King are probably the most famous words of modern history. It may sound cheesy to repeat them but we need to remember why the words in this particular speech were so powerful and have resonated with so many over nearly 60 years. 

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!”

What Martin Luther King said has stood the test of time, I feel, because he was talking about something incredibly powerful, a dream that his nation and indeed the world would be a just place, and a place of freedom and equality. Our dreams are incredibly powerful and while we still have dreams, we still have hope. We can argue and debate as much as we want and we may ‘win’ a few arguments but winning arguments doesn’t win the hearts of the people. I want to serve the people of this country, starting off with the people in the area in which I live. I don’t want to seek glory and fortune for myself but sadly I'm not sure that this is the reason why most people get involved in politics.

So why did I join the Labour party – well, I joined for two reasons:
i) because I was so touched by a book I read – The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressel which is a brilliant novel containing many essays about the value of socialism and felt so moved by it that I wanted to write (unfortunately I didn't) to the Rt Hon Gordon Brown and urge him to not give up the fight and to fight with passion for the sake of the people of this country. As a country we are significantly more blessed than we were at the time this book was written but there is still a long way to go.
ii) because I saw Gordon Brown on TV on the 11th May give such a rousing speech at Labour party HQ where he talked about service.

 “On the back of our party cards it says:

By the strength of our common endeavour we achieve more together than we do alone …

And we continue to fight unceasingly because progress is not a word we just speak but a reality we have been creating where the ambit of opportunity always expands and never contracts. And we fight for progress because we know the energy and talent of the British people are boundless whenever they are released from stereotype and allowed to soar. …

And you are part of a Labour Party which is and will always be the greatest fighting force for fairness our country has ever seen.

We are irrepressible: we fight for fairness, and tomorrow we fight on.”

The people of this country are the countrys greatest national asset. All of us in this country have a part to play in our communities and especially those of us wishing to serve the people of this country. We should be prepared to serve even when the media are not there watching. We should be prepared to roll up our sleeves and get on with it, even when it’s not glamorous to do so. Let’s get ourselves involved in the things we are passionate about e.g. helping the drug addicts fight and overcome their addictions, helping the illiterate learn to read, helping the migrants feel that they’ve found a place of safety, helping and supporting families whether they be 2 parent or single parent families.

Let’s work ‘with’ our communities so that they are empowered and don’t feel that they have a load of politicians who know nothing about what life is like for them, telling them how to live and what to do.
The people of Great Britain are far more powerful than we realise and we need to mobilise these people to create opportunities for all and to allow all our dreams for a better, fairer future become a reality.
Call this (or me) naieve if you want to but I have only just joined the party and have only recently felt that I had anything to contribute. I grew up under Thatcher, for goodness sake, and felt completely apathetic regarding politics for most of my life until Gordon Brown who finally seemed to me, to be more about serving others rather than his own agenda.

I am hoping that I won't be disillusioned by the Labour party and that the things I believe in and care about will become a reality. I don't think I want much apart from having a nice home, enough money to pay my bills and provide for a family, to live in peace, have satisfactory and fulfilling work, excellent education, excellent childcare facilities, medical provision, provision for care throughout old age and a community of people that cares about and respects each other.
Well that's it for now, I'll see how I get on as a card carrying member and see what I can do for my community and my country :)

The Right To Vote

The first question to ask is why bother going to vote at all? If you think that all politicians are the same and what is the point in voting at all then please read on.

Having the ability, no, the right to actually cast your vote is something which people have fought for. In the recent elections in Iraq, the electorate i.e. the normal people like you and me were so determined to cast their vote that they braved bombs to be able to do it.

Did you know that all men in the UK over the age of 21 and all women in the UK over the age of 30  (bar a few exceptions e.g. those committed to asylums etc) only received the right to be able to vote in February 1918? That’s right only 92 years ago. Prior to that most people in the UK were not entitled to vote.

Obtaining the right to vote was through the determination and action of many men and women who fought long and hard for us to have this right (known as universal suffrage). We are now in a position where every UK citizen over the age of 18 has the right to vote in an election irrespective of income, property ownership, gender, colour, religion or background.

So in the last 92 years following the right to vote you would think that we would all be grateful and would turnout to use our vote. There are 45.2 million of us in the UK who are eligible to vote. (Obviously there are a lot more people in the UK but to be eligible you have to be over 18 and a British citizen.)  Unfortunately the average turnout at an election is only approximately 70% of those eligible to vote which means that approximately 30% which equates to over 15 million people couldn’t be bothered to vote. That is an insult to these brave men and women the world over who are so desperate to vote they will do so amidst the threat to their very lives.

The men and women who were determined to get us the right to vote did amazing things for us – they chained themselves to railings, threw themselves under the Kings horse at the races resulting in  death (of Davison), marched for miles, spoke at rallies and directly disobeyed the police by having public gatherings, endured hideous treatment in appalling prison facilities. The womens suffrage movement had some very militant protesters one of the most famous being Emily Pankhurst.

What do we do when we want to start a protest or make our voice heard in some way – we start a facebook group or some other social media networking (and yes there is intended irony here).

You have an opportunity to cast your vote – you may not know who to vote for, you may not believe in politics and the democratic system as it is currently modelled but do you think that by staying away from the polls anyone is going to take account of you in anyway. Even if all you do is attend the polling station, take your ballot paper and scribble on it a comment to the effect that all politicians are the same and don’t listen to us or are just in it to line their own pockets or whatever then at least you have made your opinion known officially. This would spoil your ballot paper and it would not count but I believe by law the Electoral Commission must retain the spoiled papers so at least your comment / opinion is being heard so to speak.

But wouldn’t it be so much better if you just took a little time to ensure that you are registered to vote and investigate the policies of your local MP candidates and their parties and cast a proper vote. It certainly can’t hurt can it. However, not casting your vote could potentially hurt by allowing a party candidate into office who didn’t represent you and your interests. For instance in Bradford we have an absolutely ridiculous fiasco going on where the whole of the city centre is a hole – a great big building site costing goodness knows how much for the sake of a park, yet other facilities are left undone and our council tax keeps going up to pay for these councillors to keep on making these idiotic decisions. Who is the party in charge – yes the council in Bradford is a Conservative council!

We all have a responsibility to exercise our vote. Imagine if we were in a situation where you either ‘use it or lose it’ and then we would only have ourselves to blame.

If this note has moved you to consider voting in the next election then please make sure you are registered by following this link

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/UKgovernment/Politicalpartiesandelections/DG_073239

The Time Travelers Wife & Jesus

I originally wrote the following just after seeing the movie but today is Easter Sunday and the sentiment is still alive today so here goes:


"Okay so I've just seen the movie and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed that my best friend lives outside of time and yet he's with me in every moment of my life - sometimes I feel that he's here with me more obviously than at others. I am completely loved by him so much so that he entered time to pay a price for me to spend eternity with him.

When I saw the movie I felt so sad that we each have to die, not that dying is bad but, feeling sad for those we leave behind. When we marry we cleave to one another and become one so when one of a couple dies then it must be the worst kind of wrenching and feeling as if you're no longer complete. I know that we are complete individuals when we marry but we grow together and become co-dependent.

I know that when I close my eyes in this time and space I will open them again in eternity and see the beauty of my best friend and be able to completely immerse myself in him but what about those I will leave behind. I would hate to think of them grieving for me. I truly hope that my husband and my daughter and my mother know how much I love them.

But then on the way home, I was listening to the Hillsong CD - Faith+Hope+Love and the first track says that Jesus is the Alpha & the Omega, the first and the last.

It amazes me that Jesus has been with me through every single season of my life and that he knows my end and my beginning and that he is my best and dearest truest friend for all eternity.

And finally... how irritating is it that people are silly...people will insist on comparing a book to a movie - a book is a book and a movie is a movie - they are two radically different types of media and tell stories in very different ways. A book and a film should never be compared as they are not like for like. I am thrilled that I choose to see movies first and then read the book and if they are different then so much the better as I get blessed twice !!! This rant is based on the fact that as I was leaving the cinema people were loudly complaining that the film hadn't done justice to the book upon which it was based. This kind of felt like cold water being thrown on me while I was on a high. Who are they kidding it was a great movie - just appreciate the movie on its own.

If anyone who reads this hasn't seen it yet - I hope you enjoy it. If you've already read the book don't expect it to be the same just enjoy it for what it is. I know that now I am going to enjoy the book.

Church

Okay so I have been attending the same church now for over 8 years since the very last Sunday of 2001. I hated it at first as it was so alien to everything I thought I knew about church but I started going back each Sunday in 2002 and attended an early morning bible study where we read through the whole bible cover to cover during the year. I came to truly love reading God’s word to us and really connected with God and felt that everything I had searched for all my life was complete in this new relationship. I also started to enjoy being part of a church which appeared radical in that it really genuinely did what it could to help other people. I became a part of this amazing body of people and got involved with feeding and helping the homeless, attending bible studies, informal prayer groups, youth meetings and eventually joined the camera team. You see this church produces a weekly tv programme which is broadcast all over the world and is filmed purely by volunteers of which I was one. I became totally immersed and loved the person I was becoming and felt freed from a lot of baggage I had been carrying around all my life.

My relationship with God was the most important part of this new life but I was also loving the life that I was living and eventually met and married a wonderful guy. His parents had been a part of the church when he was born so he had seen the church go through various transitions as people came and went. He was a part of the sound team and often did the sound for the tv programme in the studio which is how we met really.

After we married we suffered the terrible loss of our first born son which hit us both very hard and our marriage has dealt with a lot of other stuff over the years. At this time, I joined the choir and soared in my love for God because he had proved himself completely faithful to me and although I still grieved I just loved being able to worship God through the pain and the tears.

However, now I am really struggling with the church I am a part of. In some way I have gone from being a part of it to just attending. You see the church made the decision to scrap the choir which is fair enough but there was a joy to being a part of it which went beyond singing on a Sunday on the stage. I think it was about being excellent as a person and being focussed on my devotional life so that what I was singing was what I was also authentically living and feeling. This could have continued after the choir but well it didn’t, no excuses really.

Then a woman who I had learned so much from and who was a part of the senior leadership team left at a similar time to a lot of other people who I had also learned from. She was such a big influence and role model in my life that I named my Gorgeous Baby after her. When she left the church it really rocked my world. I couldn’t understand why so many great people would choose to leave as I still loved the church and didn’t think there was anything wrong. 

The worship music is great, in fact world class but it's about really, truly connecting with God and not about performance just the simplicity of honest, true worship. 

I contacted someone who I knew had left the church at a similar time who has given me some great advice and recommended two books by Rob Bell called Velvet Elvis and Jesus Came To Save Christians. It was great that I was able to connect with someone. I'm definitely going to check those books out along with some serious soul searching and prayer. All I really want is the reality of Jesus and more of him in my life, and to be able to gather with others who know and love Jesus.

I think I've found that within the community of believers that  get to do life with and each step along the way I am always learning and growing.

Reading & Writing Fiction

I appear to have been out of action for a few days because I was busy reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I finally managed to get a copy from my local library on Friday evening and had finished it by Tuesday evening. This says something about the book. It was definitely a page turner once I got past the first 30-50 pages as it has quite a long set up and introduces the main character quite a way in. I really enjoyed reading it even though it deals with some horrific tortures and murders which I would rather not have read. The Swedish title for the book is translated into English as “Men Who Hate Women” which is a kind of theme running throughout the book. This book is the first in a trilogy – the subsequent books being The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest. Even though murder mysteries are not really my cup of tea where reading is concerned, I am kind of intrigued by the main character Lisbeth Salander and may end up reading the next two books but having said that life is short and I have plot planning and writing to get on with.

Darling Husband has gone off to Africa for work for about 11 days which gives me a little time to get cracking with my planning for my feature film script and then he returns just in time to help me by looking after Gorgeous Baby while I write my 100 page script during the month of April as part of the Script Frenzy. I can’t imagine my first script will be much good, writing wise but if I don’t do it then I will never know will I. Plus I would rather be positive and think “Hey, I have a great idea, let’s have a go”. I’ve actually got more ideas than I can find time to properly develop but I need to work on developing myself as a writer and become accomplished at actualizing these ideas that I have. It may be that some ideas would work better as novels, some as short stories and some as features.

My ultimate goal would be to write something which takes someone out of the grim realities of their world and into a place where their imagination can soar with possibilities and hope. You see whenever I have had to deal with issues in my life I have used reading fiction and/or watching movies as a form of escape. That sounds a little naff but it genuinely is what I have done.

When my first baby was born I was reading a book by Martin Cruz Smith called Rose and even though I was dealing with the hideous nastiness of facing his death, reading that story allowed me to spend time in a different place just for a little while and allowed me to just breathe. The same thing happened when I was discharged from hospital. I was utterly exhausted physically and emotionally and just needed to relax and breathe so I watched Roman Holiday. I've always loved that film; Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn are amazing in it.

Entertainment may be viewed by some people as being pointless or empty but it has the power to lift us from grim reality, to connect with our emotions, make us laugh or cry, make us think and lead us into taking action. I have been considering this for a few days as I was thinking about the story I will be writing during Script Frenzy. I was feeling a little guilty that it was a bit of an empty airhead yet commercial story and may not connect with people but then I realised that commercial does not mean empty. Commercial stories can still be of value in numerous ways.

I'll be thinking of this some more as I attempt to write my screenplay.

The Journey To Being A Screenwriter continues

Okay so I had a stressful day yesterday. I came up with 2 new movie ideas, one a light fluffy, frothy Rom com and one a poignant comedy. I was trying to think about the poignant comedy to help me get through the day at work but also to take my mind off the passing of Layla Grace on the 9th March. Have a look at her story on http://laylagrace.org/ It really affected me and my thoughts and prayers were with her family as they tried to face the first day and now every subsequent day without her.

Each time I thought about what her mother was going through, my eyes welled up with tears. The pain, anguish and disbelief that what you most feared has happened is unbelievable.

It makes me wonder what the difference is between wishful thinking and having faith for a miracle.

But, in the meantime I also thought about trying to write a one page scene to enter Julie Gray's latest competition. The deadline was midnight on Thursday 11 March and every one of the dozens of ideas I came up with was absolutely, utterly useless. Trying to get anything worthwhile onto one page was like knocking my head against a brick wall and I found it completely frustrating. The annoyance however was at my own lack of ability to just knock out a scene effortlessly.

Anyway this morning I was chatting to my friend at work who I absolutely adore and he made me laugh about it so I came up with something - totally tongue in cheek but I enjoyed it, so hopefully Julie will too. There's stiff competition out there though so I'm not under any delusion that I'll win or anything absurd like that but I think it was good practice and got me thinking and writing.

It's also part of my daily WriProNeLL i.e. Write - Promote - Network - Learn - Live well

So today was a better day personally but I don't think I'll ever forget Layla Grace or her family. There is such power in words - just check out her blog to see what I mean.

NaNoWriMo - The Journey

Okay so I'm looking forward to writing a feature length movie script during Script Frenzy (http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/) in April this year. I've started planning for this already as I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November 2009 and learnt a few lessons about planning, from my lack of it.

Here is a re-post of my NaNoWriMo experience...

Getting involved with NaNoWriMo, started off on 27 October, with a guy who works at my company mentioning NaNoWriMo briefly. I had a look at their website and was hooked and determined to have a go. The idea is that you sign up to participate in a global network of people who will all attempt to write a 50,000 word / 175 page novel during the 30 days of November.

On Friday 30 October I went to an event called Worship Central at ALC (Abundant Life Church) where Tim Hughes and Al Gordon led worship, taught on Godly creativity, then more worship and prayer. I felt so inspired to create something amazing and really sought God to help me just flow with literary creativity. I was fired up, ready to go and couldn't wait to start; so much so that I started to write at midnight on Sunday 1st November. It only took one hour to write the first 1666 words.

But...had I kept to that and written 1666 words every day I would have made the target of writing a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. Unfortunately, by the end of November my word count was an abysmally low 14,966 so I had to accept that I failed in reaching the target.

But...I achieved something amazing. During November, I had my ups and downs, days of writing loads and flowing in the story and days of writing nothing. I have come up with a story about some characters that really interest, inspire and surprise me. I have started a novel that I know I will complete and I have enjoyed writing again immensely; so much so that I think it will be hard to stop.

I am already planning to participate again next year but I will plan out my writing schedule, story and characters in advance. Having said that, I think there is definitely something to be said for the 'flying by the seat of your spontaneous pants' method of writing, as there is just such a beautiful flow.

The Journey To Being A Screenwriter

This last weekend I had the amazing opportunity of being able to participate in a Screenwriting workshop in London, taught by Julie Gray from Los Angeles - see her blog on www.justeffing.com She is 'good people'.

I was a bit concerned that maybe I wasn't worthy to be there as although I love to write and have more ideas than I have time to work on, in my ideas journal, I wouldn't dare to presume that I have any talent. I mean talent is something that other people have, such as authors like Carlos Ruiz Zafon (writer of novel The Shadow of The Wind) and screenwriters like Shane Black (writer of the Lethal Weapon movies) and Bruce Joel Rubin (Oscar winning writer of Ghost and The Time Travelers Wife).

But Julie is an amazing encourager so I went along down to London anyway, ready to learn as much as I could and to make the most of the opportunity.

The class was absolutely, unbelievably excellent, far exceeding my expectations. After the first day – I was exhausted as I’d taken in so much and met some really cool people but after a few writing exercises and testing some of my movie ideas, I ended up feeling like a worthless, talentless, little wannabe. I was devastated and considered not going back for more on Sunday but then I prayed and asked God to help me get my head together and present some more movie ideas on Sunday morning.

So I went back with 6 brand new ideas, each of which had varying degrees of merit but when I presented them to Julie she said yes to 3, no to 1 and said the others were more novel ideas and suggested I put them in my ideas folder.

By the end of Sunday when I had worked on 1 main idea – I left on cloud 9 feeling so inspired, encouraged and motivated but at same time utterly exhausted. The idea was just a fluffy, frothy romantic comedy but everyone loved it and said it was very commercial and had ‘legs’ to use a Hollywood term.

I met some of the most incredible and amazing people who were just so lovely, talented, inspiring and collaborative. We all exchanged email addresses and I know that it's going to be fun to keep in touch and see how we all develop and grow as writers in our careers.

I’ve got so much more hard work to do now though so better stop blogging and get on with my story development etc.