Rather rashly I happened to mention to a colleague at work that I enjoyed taking photographs. My thoughts in sharing this information were that I do enjoy taking photographs but only at the level of taking random snaps and photographically recording stages in development of my Darling Baby. My colleague, however, must have assumed that I was a serious amateur photographer and invited me to participate in a monthly photograph competition at work which a number of the guys participate in.
Well for July the theme of the competition was to take a photograph which represented a well known saying or proverb. I took a photo of Darling Baby's Calpol with a wrist watch strapped around it with the tag line "Time's A Great Healer". The idea was okay but the photograph was not but I felt under pressure to submit something.
The theme this month is to do a self portrait. Well, there are two things at least, wrong with this. First, I hate being in front of the camera and second I do not have the requisite technical expertise. I had a go at taking a few shots in black and white with wet hair in front of my face but the result was rather appalling. I had thought that me peering through a curtain of wet hair would kind of hide me a little. I then thought about getting help from my husband and asked him to teach me how to use some image manipulation software but being a typical bloke rather than teach me how to use it he just kept putting it off so that we're now at the end of the month and the entry is due to be submitted any day now and he still hasn't taught me to use the software. He did try taking over though at 10pm on Sunday night - this was a bit late of course and the resulting image was far less than satisfactory.
The upshot of the whole thing is that again I am regretting even getting into the conversation about photography and will probably not be able to submit anything worthy - oh why do I always get myself into these things?
MrsGulp
Sunday 23 August 2009
Wednesday 19 August 2009
Probation Period
Today I was told by my boss - Jim, that I had passed my 3 month probation period. That is such a relief as with this credit crunch, jobs that pay decent money are hard to come by. I'm only on a 12 month fixed term contract though but I'm hoping if I work hard that maybe they may extend my contract.
My Gorgeous Husband has been working all this week too so that means more money will be in the bank. Now it's just a case of deciding which bills to try and pay first between the council tax, the BT bill and gas and electric - oh and the car finance.
So while we have been working my Darling Baby has been looked after by her paternal Grandmother for two days and then the rest of the week in Daycare. I miss her so much and hate that she has to be looked after by others while I work. I always wanted to only work part-time when I had children or ideally be a full-time Mother if money allowed. It makes me so envious of other women who have got enough money to be able to do that.
I would really love to have more children too but I just don't know how we'll be able to afford that and time is running out for me as I'm 40 on December 5th. I always expected that by this stage in my life I would be considerably wealthy but the opposite is true and I'm scrabbling around for money to pay pressing bills and have little if anything left for even the essentials such as a new pair of shoes. I wasn't even able to buy my Darling Baby her first pair of shoes until she was 14 months old!
It's hard not to feel as if I've stuffed up my life but I'm sure that I will survive. There are loads of years left in me still and in my 3 month review my manager told me that I'll get a pay rise in 3 months time so I'll be earning a little more and hopefully I'll progress in my job.
I was previously training to be a solicitor and started a training contract (the training contract used to be referred to as articles) in 2005 shortly after my wedding. However, I then discovered I was pregnant and following my first baby's birth I took the decision to resign. I now know that this was the wrong decision but we do strange and silly things in times of grief. Since then, however, my focus has been on my children - firstly my son who was stillborn, followed by my niece who I fostered for 18 months and who I completely gave my heart to, then my Darling Baby.
In an ideal world it would be great to finish my training as a solicitor but then it would also be great if I could have more children and have a flexible career that allows me to put parenting first.
hmmm decisions decisions
My Gorgeous Husband has been working all this week too so that means more money will be in the bank. Now it's just a case of deciding which bills to try and pay first between the council tax, the BT bill and gas and electric - oh and the car finance.
So while we have been working my Darling Baby has been looked after by her paternal Grandmother for two days and then the rest of the week in Daycare. I miss her so much and hate that she has to be looked after by others while I work. I always wanted to only work part-time when I had children or ideally be a full-time Mother if money allowed. It makes me so envious of other women who have got enough money to be able to do that.
I would really love to have more children too but I just don't know how we'll be able to afford that and time is running out for me as I'm 40 on December 5th. I always expected that by this stage in my life I would be considerably wealthy but the opposite is true and I'm scrabbling around for money to pay pressing bills and have little if anything left for even the essentials such as a new pair of shoes. I wasn't even able to buy my Darling Baby her first pair of shoes until she was 14 months old!
It's hard not to feel as if I've stuffed up my life but I'm sure that I will survive. There are loads of years left in me still and in my 3 month review my manager told me that I'll get a pay rise in 3 months time so I'll be earning a little more and hopefully I'll progress in my job.
I was previously training to be a solicitor and started a training contract (the training contract used to be referred to as articles) in 2005 shortly after my wedding. However, I then discovered I was pregnant and following my first baby's birth I took the decision to resign. I now know that this was the wrong decision but we do strange and silly things in times of grief. Since then, however, my focus has been on my children - firstly my son who was stillborn, followed by my niece who I fostered for 18 months and who I completely gave my heart to, then my Darling Baby.
In an ideal world it would be great to finish my training as a solicitor but then it would also be great if I could have more children and have a flexible career that allows me to put parenting first.
hmmm decisions decisions
Tuesday 11 August 2009
The First Post
Okay so I've just finished reading The Wife in The North, a book by Judith Reilly which she based on her blogs over the period of approximately 2 years or so covering her move from London to Northumberland. She was basically just 'venting her spleen' and I thought "I should do that". I have always enjoyed writing and journalling and at the moment I feel as if I have a lot to vent about.
I'm just trying to recover from a nasty case of tonsillitis which in itself is ridiculous. I always thought this was just one of those childhood things which adults don't get but I am 39 and have suffered, yes really suffered, my first experience of tonsillitis. The worst part about it was that it abruptly ended my very happy holiday last week. As I was driving home from a short but so wonderful stay in Leicester with my 1 year old daughter, I started to feel incredibly woozy. I felt very feverish and was unpleasantly sweaty. I hadn't felt great when I woke up in the morning but had put that down to sightseeing in London the previous day and a lot of chatting with my Dearest Friend, so I just took a couple of paracetamol and got on with it.
Eventually I realised that I ought to pull over so I stopped at junction 30 of the M1 and I guess I just passed out. I don't know how long I slept but I awoke and realised that Darling Baby could overheat in the car while I slept so I rolled the windows down a little and carried on with the journey. It took until 3pm to get home and I just about managed to carry Darling Baby into the house and up the stairs and crawled into bed. This was on the Thursday. Husband didn't turn up home until the wee small hours and didn't appear to care that I was ill as he was too tired to think about that.
The next morning I felt worse still and could hardly croak. My throat felt as if I had swallowed two incredibly large golf balls which had got stuck in there. Thankfully Husband arranged to take Darling Baby to the In-Laws and off he went leaving me ill without even so much as a drink. He popped back in the afternoon to check on me but didn't sort out anything for me to eat, not that I had an appetite or possibly even ability to swallow anything but still I felt he ought to have made more of an effort.
Mother-In-Law turned up later in the evening to return Darling Baby safely fed and bathed and ready to pop into her bed. I was so happy to see her but it was probably more a grimace than a smile which I was able to offer her. Mother-In-Law was rather concerned about me and prayed with me before she left. Thankfully she also brought me an ice-cube to suck on. Oh sweet joy it was to suck that ice-cube. It was the only thing I had which soothed my unbearable throat.
The days have all merged so that I don't even know what day it is today but finally I've been able to get some penicillin from the doctor which has started its work.
I guess I ought to forgive Husband for not being better at playing nurse maid. He's not to blame and he was busy doing the sound for an important conference. He's got some more paid work this week too.
It's been so tough since he lost his job (working with computers) in February. Even though he's now starting to pick up a few days of work here and there we're struggling desperately to make ends meet. It makes me so angry because I'm working full-time (admittedly doing a job I enjoy) but having to leave Darling Baby all-day. I always wanted to be a full-time Mummy or at very least just part-time but my dream has had to take a backseat so that Husband can live his dream. He gets to do freelance sound, lighting and rigging and when he's not doing that he gets to play with Darling Baby.
Oh well I should just get on with it - recovering that is - then the world will look brighter.
I'm just trying to recover from a nasty case of tonsillitis which in itself is ridiculous. I always thought this was just one of those childhood things which adults don't get but I am 39 and have suffered, yes really suffered, my first experience of tonsillitis. The worst part about it was that it abruptly ended my very happy holiday last week. As I was driving home from a short but so wonderful stay in Leicester with my 1 year old daughter, I started to feel incredibly woozy. I felt very feverish and was unpleasantly sweaty. I hadn't felt great when I woke up in the morning but had put that down to sightseeing in London the previous day and a lot of chatting with my Dearest Friend, so I just took a couple of paracetamol and got on with it.
Eventually I realised that I ought to pull over so I stopped at junction 30 of the M1 and I guess I just passed out. I don't know how long I slept but I awoke and realised that Darling Baby could overheat in the car while I slept so I rolled the windows down a little and carried on with the journey. It took until 3pm to get home and I just about managed to carry Darling Baby into the house and up the stairs and crawled into bed. This was on the Thursday. Husband didn't turn up home until the wee small hours and didn't appear to care that I was ill as he was too tired to think about that.
The next morning I felt worse still and could hardly croak. My throat felt as if I had swallowed two incredibly large golf balls which had got stuck in there. Thankfully Husband arranged to take Darling Baby to the In-Laws and off he went leaving me ill without even so much as a drink. He popped back in the afternoon to check on me but didn't sort out anything for me to eat, not that I had an appetite or possibly even ability to swallow anything but still I felt he ought to have made more of an effort.
Mother-In-Law turned up later in the evening to return Darling Baby safely fed and bathed and ready to pop into her bed. I was so happy to see her but it was probably more a grimace than a smile which I was able to offer her. Mother-In-Law was rather concerned about me and prayed with me before she left. Thankfully she also brought me an ice-cube to suck on. Oh sweet joy it was to suck that ice-cube. It was the only thing I had which soothed my unbearable throat.
The days have all merged so that I don't even know what day it is today but finally I've been able to get some penicillin from the doctor which has started its work.
I guess I ought to forgive Husband for not being better at playing nurse maid. He's not to blame and he was busy doing the sound for an important conference. He's got some more paid work this week too.
It's been so tough since he lost his job (working with computers) in February. Even though he's now starting to pick up a few days of work here and there we're struggling desperately to make ends meet. It makes me so angry because I'm working full-time (admittedly doing a job I enjoy) but having to leave Darling Baby all-day. I always wanted to be a full-time Mummy or at very least just part-time but my dream has had to take a backseat so that Husband can live his dream. He gets to do freelance sound, lighting and rigging and when he's not doing that he gets to play with Darling Baby.
Oh well I should just get on with it - recovering that is - then the world will look brighter.
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