25th May 2016

Hmmm, so tomorrow is a difficult day.

I have so many blessings in my life and so much to be thankful for but tomorrow will be the 10th birthday of my little son Joshua James.

Sadly, he was stillborn, so 10 years ago I never got to hear him cry. I was able to cuddle him but never got to feel his tiny fingers curl around my finger.

I was able to bathe him but never got to see him wriggle and squirm or chuckle.

It amazes me that 10 years have gone by and I survived. My husband James has survived and together we have overcome the grief that at first appeared to be overwhelming. We have been blessed with 3 gorgeous daughters but...

I often wonder about what 10 year old Joshua would be like.

I have wondered about what he would be like every day of every one of the last 10 years.

I have wondered what colour eyes he would have had and whether his hair would have stayed so dark that it was almost black.

I have wondered about the sound of his voice, about what kind of person he is or would have been.

It still hurts that I missed out on being his mother and I wish the situation was different but throughout the last 10 years I have been blessed by an Awesome God who works ALL things for the good of those who love Him.

Tomorrow is not just about Joshua though. Tomorrow is also my stepfather's birthday and my Oma's birthday.

And tomorrow is also the day I have to go to a funeral of a friend and colleague and say goodbye to her.

I'd so much rather not go. I hate funerals and I hate death but it is right that I get the chance to honour her by saying a last farewell. I can't believe she's gone. It's only a couple of weeks since I last saw her as we celebrated the election results together.

My one regret is that she really wanted to go and have a Knickerbocker glory ice cream and I never went to have one with her.

As I say my goodbyes tomorrow I will be focussing on Lynne but Joshua will remain in my heart, tomorrow and always.

Lynne

Today I was devastated to hear of the death of my friend, my mentor, my colleague, Wibsey Councillor Lynne Smith.

She was there by my side when I won my first election in May 2012 (pictured below) and always looked out for me, encouraged me and showed me the ropes, so to speak. I worked with her on the Governance & Audit Committee and was amazed at her shrewd, analytical mind and her passion for ensuring that processes were both fit for purpose and adhered to. Woe betide anyone who didn’t follow correct procedure. She had a very sharp tongue and used it when warranted but only because her heart was in the right place.

We had a couple of run ins early on but we worked it through and when I thought she was out of order I told her so and again we worked it through. Our friendship was forged through these exchanges and our honesty with one another. We both put our names in the hat for the selection for a parliamentary seat and kept our friendship intact. She taught me how it is truly possible to have disagreements in politics and still be friends but that it was important to air those disagreements one to one and not to snipe and stab others in the back. If only others could be like her.

When I was first elected she saw that certain other people were attempting to take me under their wing and sadly they turned out not to be trusted. In fact they were downright toxic. They didn't have anyone's best interests at heart, other than their own. They would bitch about her and yet she maintained her dignity and kept her focus on what was important. To Lynne what was important, was serving others and not letting anyone else distract her from serving the community she was elected to represent. She poured her life out to serve others and to ensure fairness and equality for all. She cared deeply and was a true socialist.

Lynne, was a true friend and she understood the value of friendship and was passionate about encouraging people wanting to learn and develop themselves to be as effective as they possibly could be, to better serve the community and the whole District.

Last week, we had the first part of our Labour Group AGM and she came down to participate. The atmosphere of that meeting was particularly unpleasant and there was a significant lack of courtesy and respect and yet she didn’t fight back, she retained her dignity.

Our Group will be the worse without her and she will be a tough act to follow both as a ward Councillor and as the Chair of Governance & Audit. 

I will miss you Lynne on both a personal and a professional level. You were a dear friend. God bless you and may you rest in peace. 

Cycling - post 1

This evening I went to do a basic cycle maintenance course courtesy of go: cycling down at Bradford's Cycle Re:cycle workshop.

I learned how to do the 'M' check on a bike, change brake pads, take off a wheel, a tyre and repair a puncture.

It was really good fun but also gave me a sense of confidence that I am capable of doing basic repairs if needed.

The odd thing though is that I don't actually cycle regularly or indeed at all.

Back in 2011,  after my middle daughter was born, I was determined to improve my health and fitness, as well as gain some new life skills. I found out that Bradford Council together with other partners incl NHS etc were doing cycling lessons for women on a Saturday morning. Going from never having ridden a bicycle to being able to ride a mountain bike around Roberts Park and along the canal towpath gave my confidence an incredible boost.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and encouraged other women to join me. We had a blast and had a great teacher who each week helped us gain in confidence and skill.

Since then, I purchased a cheap bike from Bradford Cycle Re: Cycle with the intention that I would cycle to work, cycle for leisure and generally enjoy my new skill. I even bought a trailer to put my children in while they were small.

However, I was too afraid to cycle on the roads of Bradford. I'm sorry I'm a wuss but it's terrifying out there.

But following tonight's bike maintenance course, I'm going to get my old bike out and have a look to see what condition it's in and then make a concerted effort to get out on the road. I'll definitely be getting a bit of help though http://www.wygocycling.com/free_training/

Jeremy Corbyn

Since last Saturday (12th September) when Jeremy Corbyn was duly elected to be Leader of the Labour Party, I have lost count of the number of people who have asked me my thoughts on him and his victory.

So I thought I'd try and figure out what my thinking on Corbyn is.

I was 100% behind Andy Burnham in his leadership campaign and was really disappointed for him. But, I know that Andy Burnham is 100% loyal to his leader whoever that is. That gives me a start towards my feelings on Corbyn. To take on the Government and to effectively challenge them Corbyn needs our loyalty and support.

I am also guided by another person I respect who has worked for more politicians than I could ever have met. Right at the outset of the leadership election, he stated that he was supporting Corbyn and did the design on his print materials. (Not that I got any communication from Corbyn during the leadership election campaigning.)

My thoughts are this:

Jeremy Corbyn has been duly elected.

I instinctively support his anti-austerity platform because it is right and because I see the impact of the Government's flawed austerity agenda on the poorest and most vulnerable people in our community and on local government.

I really want a Labour Government in 2020 and although many are repeating the mantra that Jeremy Corbyn won't or can't win, well what if he did? Stranger things have happened.

I support Jeremy Corbyn's stance on renationalisation of the railways and Andy Burnham's suggestion of how this could be done. When EastCoast mainline was in public control recently while waiting for tenders it made money for the Treasury!

Jeremy Corbyn's age: my reaction is so what? When did our society become so ageist? Our political leaders always used to be older and it was accepted that they would have life experience and that's not such a bad thing.

Singing the National Anthem: I was aghast at the media's reaction to this. Seriously, who cares whether a politician sings along to a song when actually what should have been in the news are the issues of:
cuts to tax credits which provide a safety net to poor families,
increasing numbers of people (including children) having to go to places where volunteer groups provide meals and food banks and so many more important issues.

If his focus, as mine is, is to do good for people then more power to his elbow.

So ultimately, let's give the bloke a chance. I have a feeling we'll be pleasantly surprised.

I went to see Arakan Creative's new film Freesia this evening. I still don't really know how to properly communicate how I felt while watching it.

The production is really brilliant. I recognised so many of the locations as it is filmed locally and I even recognised some of my lovely constituents who appear in the film. 

But let's be honest although the acting is great and it's a really well done film, the subject that it is highlighting is actually quite horrific. I will try not to give any spoilers away but basically it's 3 separate stories intertwined which highlight different aspects of Islamophobia.

To be honest this is what I found so difficult. I genuinely do not care what colour a persons skin is or what languages they speak or what religion they follow. I care that we are all human and have so much to learn from one another and to share with one another. It hurts to see and be confronted with such ignorance, hate, bigotry and persecution of one group of people by another group of people.

However, there is hope.

There's a beautiful scene in the film which I think will stay with me for a long time, where a white lady at a bus stop strikes up a conversation with a young Muslim girl. It's really beautiful and I hope that we can all have a lot more conversations like the "bus stop" conversation where we just chat and get on with being nice humans. 

When you see Freesia advertised on general release or at any festivals etc - I highly recommend you take the time to see this incredible piece of work.

Freesia

Three 

Street Feeding & Volunteering

Street Feeding - It's been a while since I last went down to help out with the In Touch Foundation team but this evening I joined them in Bradford City Centre to serve food to over 70 people in the drizzly rain.

I was expecting that it would be pretty much the same people who I had served at the Curry Circle last Thursday (see my recent post) but sadly there were only approximately 5-6 people that had also been there. It worries me that there are so many people in Bradford in need of a basic essential - a hot meal.

Think about it as you read this. Imagine having to queue up among a crowd of other people wondering if there will be enough food for you, wondering what it is, wondering if it will keep you filled until your next meal. 

There is a reason why the food is served on the street out in the open and that is because the food is taken to where the people in need are and where they congregate. 

It saddened me to see people I know, people I don't know and people who have disabilities or addictions. There were people from every different background - young, old, male, female. People who didn't want to talk and didn't raise their eyes and people who wanted the interaction and a bit of human contact and a genuine, caring, smile. 

After all the guests have eaten their fill - firsts, seconds and takeaways if wanted, all the volunteers are encouraged to eat. It's a beautiful act of fellowship and togetherness as well as ensuring that there is zero food waste.

Volunteering - What I did love however, both about this evening with the In Touch Foundation group and the Muslim Women's Council - Curry Circle group, is that the volunteers are all truly amazing individuals also drawn from every background - also young, old, male, female, different faith backgrounds and none. This evening I met teachers, charity workers, supermarket workers and degree students from all over our District and beyond. Some people who live elsewhere but work or study in Bradford and then stay late to help serve.

The volunteers in our District do Bradford proud. There are so many people who give of themselves to serve others and in so doing they are making our community a very special place to be.

Hate vs Love

This is going to take me a while to process.

I went to see Halima's Path today as part of the Remembering Srebenica events co-ordinated by my colleagues Cllrs Adrian Farley and Alex Ross-Shaw.

The film is essentially about a grieving mother trying to find her adopted son who was of mixed heritage.

The film itself was really well done and it's obvious why it's won so many awards.

But, the reality of the hate that exists in our world, the way we think about ourselves and others, the way one group of people persecutes another, the way we let hate, instead of love, prevail, really hit me.

It reminded me of Rwanda and the hate that devastated that nation in 1994.

It reminded me of the Troubles in Northern Ireland.

It reminded me of Apartheid in South Africa.

It reminded me of the Holocaust and the persecution by the Nazi's of anyone who they didn't like, disabled, Jews, LGBT, Roma and so on.

It reminded me of Israel and Palestine.

Is it really hate though or is it lack of understanding, lack of friendship between people who have different backgrounds?

It hurts to look at the darkness in the world.

But as Martin Luther King said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

So my prayer is that I want to be part of bringing light and love into more of this world.