Seven Years On

I don't want to offend anyone but I always find it slightly odd when the family of a person who's died regularly make special trips to the grave on the deceased persons birthday, at Christmases and so on.  I don't mean the ones immediately after but the ones several years on.  It's almost as if they're still struggling with the reality that the deceased has gone.  A person who's died is no longer part of this world.  It's the memories of that person which we carry with us.  I would suggest that without exception each one of those people who've died would want their family members to honour their memory by living well.

When we live well, achieving great things where possible, marrying, having great relationships, having children and raising them well, and taking forward what we've learned from our deceased family member, we do more to honour their memory.

Having said all of the above, today, I've awoken thinking about my little son Joshua who was born 7 years ago.

I've been so amazed at how my life has changed over this last 7 years. I've tried to focus on having a great marriage, positioning myself to focus on life not death ( I moved from being a probate solicitor to working for a charity), having subsequent children, each one of whom is an incredible gift from God and I've tried to focus on trying to serve my community to make the world a better place for all of us.

My thoughts today are not sadness at his death but gratitude that in and through his death I've had the opportunity to experience the amazing sweetness of the Grace of God in my life and have a zest for life that honours his existence.

However today you won't find me doing anything special specifically for him. I'm not camped up on the metaphorical graveside of a little boy who's died. I'm busy focussing on the life of those around me who are still living. Today is his Grandfathers birthday so we'll celebrate that. Tomorrow is my nieces 1st birthday so we'll celebrate that.

I'm also going to be out doing some Labour party campaigning listening to the needs, hopes and dreams of the people on the doorstep.

I will give a thought to my beautiful Oma whose birthday is also today. She would have been 98. And a thought to Joshua.

Those thoughts are more about carrying something of what I've learned through their existence in my life and celebrating that my life has changed and moved forward than any sadness or loss.

I'm blessed to be alive and the sun is shining.