MrsGulp

Wednesday 27 March 2013

Thinking about the future

So I'm 16 and a bit weeks into another pregnancy. This makes it my 5th pregnancy in 5 years of marriage. It is kind of nerve wracking as I'm very aware of the possibilities of something going wrong but I do feel a sense of confidence and trust that this child will be born and will be healthy. So many people keep asking me if I'm going to find out what I am having and I say "No". The reactions I get to that are quite mixed. Some of the older women think that it's lovely that I am waiting until the bay is born to find out the sex and some of the younger women find me odd. To be honest though I've never found out the sex of the baby with any of my pregnancies and didn't feel short changed at all. I love surprises too much.

With our first, (Joshua James) I had a dream that I as going to have a little boy and when he was born it was special to see that he was indeed a little boy even though we never got to see him draw his first breath or get the privilege of being parents to him.

We never knew what our second and third children were as I had early miscarriages but we nicknamed them Randolph and Cuthbert respectively and occasionally joke that one day when we get to heaven we may meet two little boys who greet us saying "Why did you give us such silly names?" or maybe they will already know that they have crazy parents who deal with stuff by making light of it as a coping mechanism.

With our fourth (Lara Anjali) again I had a dream coupled with a very strong feeling that she was going to be a girl. We named her after our church worship pastor and had kind of expected her to be a girl but there still was something intensely special and beautiful about seeing her for the first time and finding out that she was a girl.

So, now for this baby. I already know that if she is a girl I may call her Kathleen India Serena although I'm not 100% certain of that yet but I'm struggling to find a boys name that I really really like. But, I do feel as if I may be having a little boy.

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